os, you rule!

got my first ever gift from my "the things i want" list! os sent me a beautiful purple silk bellydance hip scarf. it's lovely. there will be pictures posted of it (or me in it) soon! hugs to you os.

apparently i'm the queen of inappropriate public behaviour....who knew?

i was out this past weekend at a fabulous dance party on a boat; tons of people, 2 djs, that kind of fun thing. my friend and i were talking about skeezers and he tells me that he can tell what a girl is like in bed just by looking at her. so we're laughing and picking out girls and he's giving me his thoughts. then two of our friends (girl and a guy, a couple) come and sit down with us and we fairly quickly wrap up the skeezer talk.

so the next day my friend goes for coffee with the girl who was at our table and she says that she was bothered by our conversation. he's all confused because she was not part of the convo at all, she obviously just overheard a few bits and pieces but apparently she was offended by the sexual nature of the talking.

ok, so what the fuck is with people who listen in on a private conversation, get offended by the topic, and then approach you and ask you to not talk like that around them? hello? i'm sorry, but if you are eavesdropping, you have no fucking right to complain about what you are hearing. stop fucking listening! i mean, come on...we were at a party with adults, not some 5 year old's birthday party.

.....grrrr....fucking irks me. i want to tell her the fuck off! some people's children.

sevens -taggesd by andi

Seven Things I Plan To Do Before I Die
1. go to north carolina and visit the town named after my first name in the county named after my last name. oh, and visit egypt and my homeland of norway
2. learn how to shave my legs without cutting myself
3. publish a book of poetry...either that or a humour book
4. make enough money to be able to buy red peppers even if they're not on sale!
5. find a job i love that allows me to have 3 day weekends
6. find someone to grow old with
7. fix my horrible eyesight

Seven things I can do

1. touch my tongue to my nose
2. talk in the 'Stitch' voice
3. write a poem about anything (i won a contest by writing library haiku if you can imagine)
4. dance
5. roll my eyes like a kitty clock
6. remember everything (almost)
7. shop.

Seven things I can not do

1. eat carrots, celery, potatoes, peas, barley, soy, or sesame seeds
2. wear uncomfortable shoes
3. kiss ass
4. tolerate narcissists
5. drink coffee past noon and not end up running laps or twitching uncontrollably until 5am
6. handle criticism
7. shave my legs

Seven things that I find really attractive about the opposite sex

1. a sense of humour
2. shoulders (i'm with andi on that one), especially shoulder dimples
3. clean , fresh out of the shower smell
4. straightupfulness, no bullshit
5. a strong hug
6. small tokens of thoughtfulness
7. guys who stand up for themselves

Seven things I say the most

1. enough!
2. fucking hell.
3. my word.
4. so anyway...
5. ok, well then.
6. what a jerk-face.
7. bastards (or fuckers)

Seven Books I LOVE

1. The Virgin Suicides, Jeffery Euginides
2. The Griffin and Sabine books -all of them, Nick Bantock
3. The Stone Angel, Margaret Laurence
4. Green Grass Running Water, Thomas King
5. The Temple of My Familiar, Alice Walker
6. anything Dick and Jane (i have a collection)
7. anything not Charles Dickens

Seven people I'd like to see do the seven thing (and if you don't wanna do it, ignore me):

1. katarina
2. jen
3. steph
4. corinna
5. r!
6. petrow
7. lucky pink
...and anyone else who feels the urge.

another addition to the bellydance series

more maté drama!

well, i know those of you who read the true story about the maté thought it was very weird...and yes, yes it was. but it was true and it cracked me up and that's why i wrote it. so to humour myself, and to confuse those of you who will read this, here is:

the true story of the maté, part 2

young j was very happy with his mephisto sandals when he went out shopping on a saturday afternoon. it was a beautiful day and he went to a lovely part of town with lots of cute little shops.

as he strolled leisurely down the street he approached a health food store. out front was a display and who was running the display? why, it was the cult people who would not make j his sandals because they were too busy with the maté! it so happened that the whole table was covered in different kinds of maté with samples and cult literature. j thought to himself, "hmmm, after all the drama it has caused me, i should try some of this maté" and he stopped to have a sample.

seeing a nice anglo-saxon potential breeder for their cult the man and woman at the table spoke kindly to him. "have you heard of the maté before?" the man asked. "why yes," j said, "in fact your cult made my old sandals but were too busy with the maté to make me a new pair." "yes," said the cult guy, "we are very busy with the maté." "it seems so," said j, "i spoke to Ornon several times about the shoes..." at the very mention of Ornon's name, the cult woman turned pale, went inside the health food store and never came back out. "hmmmm, Ornon must have told the cult that i'm a narc or something" thought j as he sipped his peppermint maté that did not taste very good, "thank god i bought the mephistos."

the end (again, at least for now)

my birthday is in 9 days...beware

once again it's thursday....

another shot from the bellydance series.

work (or lack of work) is pushing me over the edge...

the woman from the Millennium library called today to tell me that i didn't get the reference job. actually, i knew last night that i didn't get it because this girl i know emailed me dishing that she got the job...oh, the joys of pretending to be happy for her!

i have sent out at least 15 resumes over the last 2 months and have had a total of 1 interview (the job i didn't get), 1 goddamn interview!...what a way to crush my spirit. all this internal hiring is fucking pissing me off! -don't pretend that you actually want my resume and then don't call me in for an interview and then send me a letter saying that you were really impressed with my resume but you hired someone else....you obviously hired internally so fuck right off.

so since i can't find a decent job i'm fucking stuck going back to the school in September and i've been trying to find out what day i have to go back. you'd think the fucking head HR people could tell me that. but no. and now i have to find someone who actually knows. you too can fuck right off head HR people! maybe i should just forget to go back.

i think i'm just going to go back to bed. buy me something from my list, that might make me feel better...

tribal show...

full version of HNT pic...



the group under the canopy...




me...




me again...

hnt in honour of my first public tribal bellydance performance

this is my ear all stretched out by my giant costume earrings. oh, and there's a bit o' cheek, neck, and hair as well.

my dance troupe performed at a lovely open-air venue this past saturday...it was great. will post more pictures soon.

a true story about the maté

there once was a young man named "j" who bought a pair of sandals from a religious cult. this cult made very good sandals as well as very good spelt bread and j was very excited about his new shoes. he wore them everywhere and with everything for many years until finally, he had worn his sandals so much that his toe had worn through the sole to the ground.

because he liked these shoes so much, j decided to find the cult and see if they could make him a new pair but alas, they no longer had a shoe shop. but one day, he ran into them at a festival and asked if they could make him some new shoes. they said sure, but only if he brought in the old ones and they gave him a phone number to call. he spoke to a strange man named ornon and they left messages back and forth about the shoes. ornon wouldn't seem to commit and the store was only open from noon to 3pm and j began to wonder if they thought he was a narc or something.

then one day, very early in the morning, ornon phoned j and told him that he could no longer make him the shoes because his manager said that "they were too busy with the maté". j said ok and hung up, however he was confused about the maté. "what is this maté?" he asked, "and why does it make them too busy to make me some sandals?" his friends tried to help. "maybe it's a religious ceremony that takes lots of preparation?" they said, "or maybe it's one of the natural products from their store?"

after a while it began to anger him, "this maté, why is it ruining everything? all i want is a new pair of shoes!" so he drove by the cult's 'natural product store' and found nothing but a dark warehouse and gates and a 'beware of dog sign'. "what a scam", j said, "this is not a store that sells organic toothpaste! what is this maté? i guess i am never getting my new sandals."

because poor j was so sad his friend decided to take him shopping for new sandals not made by a cult. at the first store they went to j told his sad story to the salesgirl. "oh," she said, " i think maté is this special tea that the cult makes." "really?" said j, "how much of this tea do they need to make?" "i don't know," she said, "but i think that's what it is."

so j bought a pair of Mephistos and laughed about the maté.




the end.

my ex boyfriend has a blog....that's where the problems start

my ex has a blog which he started shortly after we broke up. he told me about it and since i'm a nosy librarian with serious confidence in her web-searching skills i went looking for it, not cuz i actually wanted to see it (well, maybe a little) but because i wanted to prove to myself (and him) that i rock! well, i found his blog and now i'm starting to regret that i did. for a while it was fine to read it but now he's starting to dissect our relationship, which is totally his right, but i just see him as being totally off base with things....and that makes me want to comment and say, "fuck man, that is not why we broke up! " but i can't because it would be stupid of me to engage him in that. so now i need to untrain myself and not read his blog anymore which is a little difficult after reading it since fucking february. but it's not healthy for me to keep reading about how he thinks i 'gave up' on the relationship, how i'm bound to recreate the same situation again, etc., etc.

i think i need some kind of system that will give me a shock whenever i go to his blog. on second thought, i might enjoy that too much...

sigh...

ever talked to your ex-boyfriend on the phone and wanted to reach through the receiver and strangle him? cuz that was me today. who ever said that staying friends with an ex is a good idea is looped.

it's thursday...

since i missed last week i tried to make this one a good one.

gong show doctor's office visit, AKA some days you should just not leave the house...

had a semi-emergency visit to the doctor on saturday. i show up at five minutes to 9 hoping to be the first person there and there are already 3 other people waiting. we wait and wait and wait and it's quarter after and we're still standing outside. finally get in and white trash trailer receptionist shows up wearing daisy dukes and a white elastic peasant top. so not only does she look like she should be drunk at a barbeque, she brings her 2 kids to work! to work! why why why? so this woman has her 2 evil children with her and they are goddamn feral children. wild, running around, slamming doors, fighting with each other...you'd think if you were forced to bring your devil spawn to work you'd bring a colouring book or something so they don't start climbing the walls. but i guess when you let wolves raise your children you don't think about things like that.

so derrick (satan's 3 year old) is about to slam the door on the reception desk for the 18th time and meanwhile, evil 5 year old daughter is attacking herself with a self-inking stamp. stamping her arms, stamping her legs...then she stops, holds the stamp up to her neck, looks us right in the eye, scowls, and fucking rams herself in the neck with the stamp. 10 minutes later trailer mom finally notices this and says angrily "why on earth would you do that to yourself?" i nearly fell of my seat. you see, trailer mom has half a dozen cheap ass lick-and-stick style tattoos all over her body: her boobs, her back, her arms....and she's wondering why her daughter felt inclined to stamp herself? now that is comedy.

so i finally get in to see the doctor and he figures i need to get a urine test. so i walk to the washroom, step over derrick having a fit on the floor, and go pee in the cup, put it on the bathroom shelf, leave, and give the slip to the lady at the desk. "where's your sample?", she asks me. i left it in the bathroom because i figure that's where you should leave samples, and she asks me to get it. so i'm walking through a busy waiting room of people carrying a hot glass of pee that looks like beer and clamato juice. she looks at it and says, "weren't you given a jar?" what? a fucking jar? there were only cups in the bathroom! so she gives me a little jar and i have to walk back across the lobby with my radioactive urine, step over derrick, go to the washroom and pour my pee from the glass into the jar, walk back across the lobby with the pee in the jar and give it to the woman at the desk! fuck, how fucking embarrassing.

so then i wait for the woman to call me back to the doctor's office and she sits me down and leaves the room. 2 seconds later, she comes back and whispers to me, "you weren't here for a pregnancy test, were you?" uh, no...should i be? "oh good", she says, "i did the right test then!" the right test? jesus fucking christ woman! what the hell?

fucking gong show i tell you.

i saw taz!

i was walking down the street and saw this guy sitting at a patio. "hey, is that taz?", i said, very loudly apparently because he turned and looked at me. oops, kinda embarrassing!

i am on a house-sitting hiatus and have had sporadic internet access this week. i am playing mom to two kittens. will return soon i promise.