feeling photo-y....

i was feeling brave so this will only be up for a limited time....

aren't i fancy....

with my messy ponytail and amazing talent? the fork is not touching my face (other than my nose) at all! this is what happens when a local greasy spoon starts serving alcohol.

tagged by megan (thank you so much for that since i am sick and uninspired and it will stop me from talking about the ex)

Three names I go by:
1. man
2. sweetness
3. sexy

Three screen names I have had:
1. ago-go
2. hostileangel
3. i think i've only had 2

Three physical things I like about myself:
1. eyes
2. teeth
3. collarbone

Three physical things I don't like about myself:
1. thighs
2. scarred-up legs
3. dimply bits

Three parts of my heritage:
1. cherokee
2. romanian
3. german

Three things that scare me:
1. midget horses
2. the thought of losing my mom
3. stupid, ignorant people

Three of my everyday essentials:
1. fruit
2. happy pills
3. emailing

Three of my favorite musical artists:
1. Feist
2. The Gap Band
3. Jamiroquai

Three of my favorite songs:
1. One evening ~ Feist
2. Early in the morning ~ Gap band
3. Eat your words ~ Painting Daisies

Three things I want in a relationship:
1. love
2. honesty
3. the ability to act like asses together

Three lies and truths in no particular order: (you figure out which ones are lies and which ones are the truth)
1. I am secretly engaged.
2. I have gout.
3. I love my job.
4. I have trichotillomania.
5. I love dogs. Especially big, jumping, slobbery ones. (megan, i had to keep this one!)
6. I look really good in all hats.

Three physical things about the opposite sex that appeals to me:
1. eyes
2. voice
3. hands

Three of my favorite hobbies:
1. dancing
2. writing
3. acting the fool

Three things I want to do really badly now:
1. not go to work
2. go back to sleep
3. wake up and go shopping for shoes

Three careers I'm considering/I've considered:
1. ballerina
2. psychiatrist
3. housewife (at least that won't make me feel so bad that my job sucks!)

Three places I want to go on vacation:
1. Tahiti (actually, i want to move there)
2. Texas
3. Egypt

Three kid's names I like:
1. Andresa
2. Caleb
3. Audrey

Three things I want to do before I die:
1. have my own house
2. cut my hair short
3. perform in the chorus of a musical in front of a large audience

Three ways that I am stereotypically like a boy:
1. i don't worry about my weight
2. i don't wear makeup most of the time
3. i swear a lot

Three ways that I am stereotypically a girl:
1. i like shoes and clothes way too much
2. i like jewelry and sparkly things
3. sometimes i take an hour to get dressed

Three celeb crushes:
1. Ewan McGregor (not a la Star Wars!)
2. Jessica Alba
3. Gary Dourdan

Three (i'm picking 4, so there!) people that I would like to see post this meme:
1. katarina
2. jen
3. andi
4. funky bee

sick sick sick....

i'm sick, sniffling and snorting, and today, almost passing out at work. that's all. pathetic and boring.

fuck, i peeked....

i peeked at my ex's blog. stupid, stupid, stupid.

i stopped reading after a paragraph or two but caught enough to see that he's writing about our s-e-x life. ewww, ewww, ewww...i still have that icky feeling, like i'm going to puke.

there are bloggers who know that he is writing about me and it grosses me out. for that matter, there are mutual friends of ours who read it and that really grosses me out!

and because i'm not supposed to be reading his blog, i can't ask him to please stop or defend myself when he says something untrue.

is it wrong of me to want him to get amnesia and forget we ever went out?

hnt, i can see you now....

awake, but a little tired.



(new pictures are well overdue, this weekend i promise i will take some new ones.)

how cute is my boyfriend?

this cute apparently!


last night J. and I were out getting some photos developed at a local grocercy store. we walk up to photo counter and the girl working there blurts out to him,

"you look just like the Transporter!"

this is funny because we had already decided that Jason Statham should play J. in the movie version of his life. i think Statham is adorable, and so is my boy, so this was a huge compliment.

however, this girl also laughed hysterically when she heard us talking about the photos being belly dancing pics so maybe she's not the best authority.

something's missing...

this was the first Thanksgiving without my dad.

i don't really care all that much about the holiday (other than the monday off) because normally we'd just have a quiet family time at home. this year my mom went out of town to visit her brother and i was home by myself for a few days. on the friday before Thanksgiving i went to make dinner and came across the frozen pizzas i was going to make the day my dad died of the heart attack on may 5th.

the day he died we were at home by ourselves and i was going to throw in the pizza so we could hang out and eat and watch tv for a bit. that never happened. i was downstairs, heard a crash, ran upstairs and found my dad ice old on the floor. on of the first thing he said to me was, "don't bother cooking for me, i'm not hungry." needless to say, i wasn't thinking about eating and those pizzas sat on the countil until i finally threw them back in the freezer.

that was 6 months ago. 2 fridays ago i finally decided to eat them, kind of a virtual Thanksgiving with my dad. it felt so sad to not be eating with him, he was my Law & Order buddy, my pizza eating buddy, the person who helped me tease my mom. i miss him so much. i'm really sad that he can't meet my new boy. i'm sad about a lot of things. next comes his birthday, american Thanksgiving (which he always celebrated with his sisters in the US until the last one died in 2004), Christmas, the scattering of his ashes. i don't think i want to be there for that, i have my own ways of saying goodbye; eating our last pizza, flipping through his record albums, sleeping in the sweater that still smells like him. i just wish i didn't have to keep saying goodbye over and over again.

oh, how i wish it was the lottery....(which is 30 million this weekend btw)

my job sucks ass and is starting to dissolve my brain cells one by one. not a good thing.

i got chastized yesterday for sending a notice in the school bulletin without my name. what the fuck? and apparently it was 'nagging'. whatever bitch. i want to punch the librarian in the face; i'm not trying to steal your fucking job, i can't have it because i'm not a fucking teacher (even though i have a masters and you don't)! yeah, i'm just fed up. am applying for another 'good' job next week, fingers crossed please.

i need to not work at my job anymore...

that's all i'll say for now...but there's more coming.

hnt...not watching you

william wegman you are a sick sick man...

i almost prevented this book from being catalogued.




this should never be done to fairy tales. or to dogs for that matter! creepy.

mushy hnt...

if you haven't guessed, there's a boy. and it's been 3 months and he hasn't run away or done anything dumb-assed like they usually do within the 3 month ago-go trial period. he's lovely. sometimes life is good.

whatever...and some other stuff

what is the deal with those tall skinny aquafina water bottles? it's still 500 millilitres, i can tell even though it's not as short and fat as the regular one! fuckers can't pull the wool over my eyes and trick me into thinking it's bigger or something. and these stupid skinny bottles don't fit properly in the drink holder in my car and fly out every time i turn a corner.

low fat cheese (which i now eat on my 'trying to behave' gout diet). oh my god, it tastes like fucking crap. takes away all the joy that comes from eating cheese. which for me is a lot.

i need new internal organs, more specifically kidneys. i don't mean to mock anyone who actually has failing kidneys and i am quite happy that i am generally in good health but come on...repeat bladder infections, kidney infections, and now 'the gout'? obviously my kidneys are going to shit. i thought that's why we had 2 kidneys each! anyone want to donate a new urethra and kidney or two? maybe i should put that on my wish list.

it's amazing that women don't kill themselves when going shopping. if you're a guy, you're a small, medium, or large, or 36, 38, whatever. but apparently i am a size 6, 8, and 11. go figure....cuz no one can decide on a standard size. no wonder women have body issues! and we torture ourselves thinking that we're fat or something. there's no way the fashion industry would do this to men. men would just stop buying clothes altogether...or maybe they would buy a size medium (and wear it) even if it didn't fit them right. and i'm sorry but when i'm wearing a large or extra-large, what are the actual 'large' people supposed to wear?

photos from green party performance

2 weeks ago my dance troup danced for a Green Party fundraiser. very few people were there and it was kind of a gong-show (initially they wanted us to dance on 5 feet of stage...what the fuck?) but we did get to dance on one of the nicer stages in the city so that was fun. and the 50 people watching seemed to like us.


that's me, second from the left.that's me, second from the left (if you couldn't guess)


....wearing my new skirt and choli that i bought on ebay.



...and now, wearing the bras...


...i hate the bras by the way.