the story of the dark girl and the sunscreen...
i am a compulsive sunscreen user. i wear it everyday on my face all year long, minimum of spf 15 in the winter but usually i go with 30. now that summer is here, i've cracked out the big guns....spf 60 (with mexoryl for ultimate protection) everywhere: face and body!
as you might have guess, i'm slightly paranoid about skin cancer and would rather not look like leatherface in 20 years. and i'm not big on weird tan lines. but that's not the major reason i coat up every day, i just don't like getting tan.
as a swarthy olive-skinned girl i burn very rarely and i get brown pretty darn quick. however, i don't like getting dark at all, i like to stay as pale as possible. why? because the darker i get the more self-conscious i feel and the more racist bullshit i have to deal with. at least when i'm pale-er, i don't have fuckers coming up to me and making 'black' jokes (as witnessed by racist stagette bitch who i'm hoping did not realize that i am mixed....because if she did realize, she needs to straight to hell with a spike heel through the head!). regardless, no one has ever called me the 'n' word in the winter.
the more i think about this, i realize how irrational it seems.... in a summer of 32 degree weather, i'm bound to get a tan and trying to avoid it seems ridiculous. but it's more of a mental thing. i'm not sure how to get past this worry...maybe i never will.
posted by ago-go @ 9:46 p.m.
6 Comments:
Rest easy: you're beautiful as who you are.
My brother used to call me "the N word" as well as "n-lips." He's a real asshole.
I've been mistaken for mixed before -- it's either total confusion or people just can't figure out where I'm "from." I like it that way. Though I take the mullatto thing as a compliment: half-Blacks are gorgeous.
So you won't be visiting Oz then? We are skin cancer central. Great big hole in the sky just near us. Seriously, you can FRY here all year round without any trouble at all.
Be proud of whatever color you are though (my personal fav is blue). Stoopid redneck wankers can just deal with it - and its better to know which ones they are anyway.
I'm waffling again. Back to work Ian.
I can't believe some people. You have totally inspired me to finally write the post I've been thinking of regarding the racists in my neighborhood growing up. I just posted for today, so I'll do it tomorrow.
And thanks for saying my problems aren't petty. You're a good person.
It's sad that you have to put up with that sort of attitude. Sure, I'm a hick from Montana, but I just don't see it around here. Maybe I'm ignoring it. Who knows? But I agree with Deener--be who you are. From what little I've seen, there's nothing wrong with that!
Yep, I wore full clothing Ago during my recent trip to the Grand Canyon. I hate getting burnt as it makes for uncomfortable sleeping and peeling.
It saddens me to hear why you slap on all that SPF though. Screw those other folks, but that is easy for me to say since I am whiter than Casper and two time zones away.
dee dee, i actually do get bullshit racist comments all year round, but point taken. and you're correct...assholes will always be assholes.
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