it appears as though i still fucking hate you...

i hate you for distracting me from things i really need to be doing for myself like finding a better job and moving the hell out.

i hate you (still) for not wanting to take a risk with me because i am so worth it.

i hate you for making me so mad that i say the word 'fuck' more times in one journal post than a girl should ever have to and that now i don't feel like writing about anything else except you.

but most of all i hate you for being at that damn Juno event so that i would have to see you & talk to you, and now i have to worry that you're going to email me or call me because you think that things are back to 'normal' just because i am a polite person who was brought up with good manners and taught not to express my utter distaste with people to their faces in public.