10 things i learned in Fargo, North Dakota
- i love target very much (even though i never bought anything there).
- waaaay too many women say things like, "he's going to KILL me when he finds out i bought these shoes/this dress/this new lipstick/whatever!". i say, fuck him! no man i'm dating/living with/married to better ever complain about what i buy with my own money....he can kiss my ass!
- no matter how thin i get, my legs will never be thin enough and/or the right shape to a wear a bathing suit with shorts bottoms without them looking like sausages exploding from their casings. so i need to admit that to myself and stop trying them on for goodness sake!
- this summer there will be no shortage of young women running around in skirts that barely cover their asses because it seems that's the only thing they can buy.
- someone seems intent on making all perfectly cute little summer tops and dresses look cheap as hell by putting cheap-ass hooker lace on them. i think it's a conspiracy.
- the cookbook section of bookstores reminds me of the boy i'm trying to forget. i hate you stupid boy and stupid cookbooks!
- americans are forced to listen to bad Can-con crap as well. i sincerely apologize for that.
- in a totally unscientific study, i determined that the only difference between MTV and MuchMusic (the Canadian version of MTV) is more Alicia Keys.
- apparently there is no inappropriate place to talk on a cell phone, including a hotel hot tub. yes, i was in the hot tub and a guy proceeded to talk for at least 30 minutes on his phone. and i think he only finally stopped because other hotel guests and the whirring jets were interrupting his privacy. good god.
- men should not wear belly rings. and certainly not men with hairy stomachs. i didn't think that i needed to see a belly ring on a guy (go figure, it was on hot tub phone guy) to prove it but i guess i did. i don't want to see it again.
posted by ago-go @ 7:02 p.m.
8 Comments:
You're so right about short skirts and cell phone talkers. Those people that run around with their hands-free thingy in their ear all the time drive me effing mad. The belly ring on a man sounds bad...just so so bad. I'm sorry you had to see something like that. lol
Andi and I are your comment whores... I cannot imagine the horror of the male belly ring. How very manly... Can't you just see the expression on the guy's face in the tattoo parlor when his idiot made his request?
Priceless.
Are you feeling better?
LOL....comment whores.
hello my beautiful comment whores!
the male belly ring was really, really bad...still having flashbacks! you're right steph, i'm totally picturing this guy at the tattoo place with the big tough piercer guy shaking his head..i'm convinced they had to force him to shave the area beforehand, because otherwise (i'm thinking about the clamps here) that would hurt like a bitch! hee hee, i can just see this guy running around showing off his new belly ring and a big circular hairless patch in the middle of his hairy chest!...ooh baby!
oh, and i am feeling considerably better thank you! medicine #2 has not given me hives and i think is starting to finally kick in.
Oh my...I never considered a belly button ring on a guy. Why?????
exactly...jen you never considered it because you have common sense and don't need to see it to know that it would look god awful! it think it's extra funny that i saw it in Fargo which is not exactly the risque fashion capital of anywhere.
sorry, i should have explained the Can-con. in canada, there's a law that says you have to play a certain amount of 'Canadian content' (Can-con) on the radio (and tv i think). so for every J-lo, ashlee simpson, or snoop dog song, we have to have some avril lavigne, sum 41, simple plan, or some other crappy Canadian music in there. and because Canada is so small, that often means that we hear some really shitty and comical stuff on the radio that would never be played if not for the Can-con rules....does that make sense?
I live near Windsor, ON (I actually look at the city every day from work in Detroit--very pretty.) In the early 90s some new Canadian radio stations popped up and to my delight they played tons of Leonard Cohen and Rush. Really weird, odd mix. I loved it. Now it seems like everything blends in with everything else.
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