re-fucking-lapse...
i am so in danger of a relapse right now...
i just got home from my Juno volunteering and guess who i saw there? him. the fucker. after 2 months. and i'd been having nightmares about him being there because i knew his radio station was working the event but i had not seriously considered that i might actually run into him until today at 11:15 when i fucking walked right past him while holding a sign. a giant fucking green sign, so it's not like i could be invisible and hide! fuck fuck fuck him. no, not fuck him because i never did fuck him. i almost wish now that i had and the sex had been terrible so i could say, "piss off you useless fucker!" but alas, no.
so i stood there holding my sign with him in plain sight for an hour. painful as hell. finally i was done my lame-ass sign-holding duties and i walked right past him and started talking to this girl i knew, i was not going to initiate anything with him. eventually he comes over and does the "hi, how are you?" crap and unfortunately because i'm with someone else i have to play nice and i can't say what i really want which is, "i'm fine. how are you you fucking asshole? i hope your life is shit and you're missing me every hour of the day!". so we had a nice and pleasant fake-ass conversation. the one good thing i did was when he said, "it's really good to see you again" i said nothing...i just kept drinking my water, thank god for that water...i seriously felt like throwing it in his face!
and then sick and twisted me went and sat in the bleachers pretending to watch the rest of the show but really just watching him. i finally had to make myself leave. fucking sick i tell you.
and i just looked at his website, which i really shouldn't have done because there are new photos up there and he looks fucking cute as hell. i am so stupid sometimes...oh, the fucking downward spiral is on the way....i need to get away from the computer...
posted by ago-go @ 2:24 p.m.
7 Comments:
Aggggg... I've been there and I feel for you. They suck, the lot of 'em.
I'm thinking that next time you go ahead and throw the water at him - I would worship you forever if you did ;)
oh steph...it was all i could do to keep from throwing that water at him! but i already feel like enough of a total psycho mentally when it comes to him so i'd rather not look like one too. fucker.
I think you did good. Reacting (throwing water, calling him a fucker, etc) just shows that he got to you.
That shit doesn't impress a man. Ignoring him was good. You did well. I'm proud.
(Says the girl who spent the entire. day. with her ex after sending him drunken emails all night and letting him attempt to make me feel better...ughhhhhhhhhhh)
thanks....i don't feel so good about it but i guess i did as well as could be expected considering the "here he is and you have to talk to him or else look like an asshole" nature of the situation.
...and thank god he doesn't have email at home because if so, i would have been guilty of sending him drunk emails on more than one occasion...so don't feel bad.
Steph's here, too? Ago, I thought you came to my blog through iBrett, 'cause he's also from your parts of Caynuhduh.
Who is this guy you're so mad at?
Non-
Andi and I are her comment ho's - we never meant for you to find out we were workin another corner - I mean blog. ;)
hi non-vocab...i'm tight with the texas girls, that's how i found you!
as for the boy, he's a jerk who broke my heart and now wants to be 'friends' but i'm finding that way too hard. and unfortunately he works on winnipeg radio and i had to run into him over the weekend.
read "the whole boy disaster story" and "i'm not supposed to hold all this in anymore" from back in March for more details. hell, read everything from mid-March...most of it's about him anyway, the big loser.
Post a Comment
<< Home