thursdays are now my nemesis
well, things are a bit calmer over here. i'm not really sure where to start or what to write...
the service for my dad was on thursday, the church was packed, couldn't fit everyone inside. my cousin counted 370 names in the guestbook and i'm guessing not everyone signed it.
i'm doing ok. had a few really bad days because of too many people in my house and too much nattering. when i'm stressed out, the last thing i need is people talking at me constantly about bullshit like food and the weather. there was one occasion at dinner where i was very tempted to throw my dishes, stab someone with a fork, and just tell everyone to shut the hell up! i somehow managed not to do this and went over to ashton's and cried and sat on the couch with him in silence for a few hours. it's so weird, but it's almost impossible for me to be anxious around him. through this whole mess ashton has been amazing. cabbed it over to my place at 11pm after i got back from the hospital, stayed with me all night while i tossed and turned, took the day off on friday, and just sat with me when i needed peace and quiet.
not sure what else to say. my return to regular blogging may be slow, bear with me kids.
posted by ago-go @ 2:03 p.m.
9 Comments:
Welcome back!
Glad to hear that Ashton came through this for you. I was wondering if he would. Sounds like he did all the right things.
As for what to say in a post--some might say it's therapeutic to write about everything that went down. Others might say that you don't want to do that, and to press on. Whatever you do, I would just say to come back at your own pace. You owe us nothing.
Hang in there, kiddo!
I understand these urges, Ago.
I'm glad that someone is there for you, even in silence.
(((((Ago))))))
I'm so glad Ashton was wondermous and supportive. And I'm the same way....I hate pointless babbling when I'm stressed out and upset. I probably would've given in to the fork stabbing.
Loves.
oh, i came very very close to the fork stabbing...but i didn't want to embarrass mom. sometimes it's terribly unfortunate that i was brought up with good manners.
Sounds exactly like the reception following my mother's memorial service. Yet another excuse to harrass me for not going to college. This time I felt justified in telling my Lutheran aunt to "fucking shove it, okay?"
This is a fucked year, ago. It will pass. Cry when you want to. Be alone if you need to. Just remember that people just don't know what to say. Don't feel that you owe them an answer.
Changing the subject--
Thanks for linking me! I assume I'm getting second billing due to the alphabetical rules. I just want to know why Egan gets two different links. I'm not upset or anything. Much....
goddammit megan, this is a fucked-up year! it has been full of bullshit bad decisions and mistakes and heartbreak.
question, how did you help your dad deal with your mom's death? my mom hasn't broken down yet and i'm starting to get worried about her.
I so want to make a smart ass remark here about Ashton, but it looks like I can't. Ho hum, he did all the right things and therefore it's game over for me. That's great that he came through when you really needed him. I am serious about that too. If he didn't then I would have personally kicked him to the curb.
Ciao Ago!
My dad is quiet, but strong. He dealt with it on his own. We all did.
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