more points for ashton
this past week was the first occasion ashton had to meet my family. not the best of times but it had to be done.
my mom's brother, his wife, their son, his wife and their 2 kids (9 and 12) were staying with us for most of the week and ashton calls to invite me out to watch a soccer game. as i'm getting ready my annoying uncle keeps feeding my little cousin questions about ashton, "where does he work? how old is he? do you like him?". i finally tell him if he'll shut up maybe i'll bring ashton over to meet them.
apparently in the hour and a half that i was at the soccer game, someone put crack in my uncle's drink.
we walk in the door after the game and my uncle is talking in this stupid fake low voice and i'm thinking, "what the fuck is wrong with him?". ashton and i go downstairs and i introduce him to the fam and my uncle suddenly says that there is a tradition of arm wrestling new people when they meet the family. yeah, ha ha! not funny at all but whatever...moving on, right? but then uncle fucking clears off the coffee table and gets ready to arm wrestle! at this point i am curled up in a ball holding my hands over my face. uncle doesn't move from his arm wrestling stance. so poor ashton goes over there and starts to arm wrestle my 64 year old uncle! by now the rest of my family is astounded and laughing nervously and covering their faces. i am about to die.
when the wrestling spectacle finally ends uncle then proceeds to start telling weird embarrassing stories about my cousin...something involving donald duck i think. needless to say, that was my cue to get the hell out of there! the visit lasted maybe all of 10 minutes.
that could have been ashton's out. if i were him, i might have taken it...but he didn't. seriously, was it really necessary to make my family look certifiably insane at first meeting? my god.
posted by ago-go @ 6:27 a.m.
27 Comments:
Oh, dear. I'm caught in that rare situation of being speechless.
exactly.
That's a wonderful story. I bet Ashton was laughing on the inside about this incident. How wonderful of your family. At least no leg wrestling occurred.
egan darling, it is not a wonderful story. the least my uncle could have done is waited until we had been dating a few months before deciding to become bizzarely macho.
and it's funny you mention leg wrestling because there was some mention of that being the next step in the 'initiation'! thankfully we left before that could happen.
Ago, I was hiding behind the couch when the arm wrestling occurred. So what was Ashton's take on the uncle run in? Did he laugh or what? I could see doing something like that for fun, but it sounds like your uncle was very serious with his intentions.
Did you watch that Sly Stallone arm wrestling movie Over the Top afterwards?
Hilarious! Haven't told my parents about my new(ish) ladyfriend yet. I might wait a bit longer now.. :)
Ian, does she arm wrestle? If not, it's never too late to start her intense training program.
egan, ashton dealt with it surprisingly well...he thought it was pretty odd but didn't seem to be too bothered.
personally i think my uncle was drained from the memorial service and a little tipsy and just got carried away...i think he's a little embarrassed about it now.
ian, i think with women the sport is leg wrestling. i sure hope your girl has some solid thighs so she can throw down with your mom!
Ago, if I am not mistaken... it sounds like you are sort of laughing about this now. I am sure at the time it wasn't funny, but damn does it ever make good blogging material.
What else is up Wonder Woman?
egan honey, i am laughing now...only because it was so absurd (and if ashton sticks around, it will be a joke forever!).
and what's new? not much. i'm wondering where my other blog hos are today!
If Ashton sticks around after that, he's quite a find.
omg, i think that i would have killed my uncle if i were you.
agreed- that is so very unacceptable!!!!
that is why i keep my men away from my family for as long as possible!!
As a guy, I think that shit is hilarious. If Ashton has any sort of sense of humor, which he clearly does, he knows this isn't how you operate. I know my wife doesn't equate my family's actions with me.
If he doesn't hang around, you can't blame your uncle. Sure was very odd behavior, but not a deal breaker. Well, not so sure. I guess I wasn't there. Tell me this, did your uncle grunt while wrestling? If this uncle grabbed Ashton's nuts, then we have a problem.
bte, he is really a great guy. totally chill which is good for me right now. and i figure anything that my family says to him from now on will seem normal in comparison.
jodi, you know those moments when someone does something so totally insane and out of character that you don't believe it's happening? yeah, it was like that. it was as though i was watching a train get derailed...i could see the trouble coming but there was no way i could stop it, so i just had to sit there helpless and watch the debacle unfold.
steph, normally i try to keep new boys away from the family too but it was kind of hard considering the circumstances. i can promise you that there will be no wrestling of any kind at our wedding! well, maybe a little mud wrestling...
My dad was a dentist. Any time I brought home a girl to meet the parents, inevitably, at some point, he would have them sit on his lap, and he'd say, "Let's see your teeth." I kid you not. I'll swear on a stack of Bibles or new Harry Potter books. And the most amazing thing is that the girls never protested. Maybe they were in such a state of shock. One even got a tooth filled for free, because she was my girlfriend. I, on the other hand, couldn't look them in the eye for days out of sheer embarassment. Yes, folks. Dad was horny.
He quit doing it after his second heart attack....
wow Oabasso.
Wow.
Ummmm- I'm not sure how I would react to "Come sit on my lap little girl so I can look at your teeth."
steph--why do you have problems with my name??
yeah. I think the girls were in such a state of shock hearing those words that it put them in a trance or something. he used to sometimes do that when we were out to dinner so that he could write it off as a business expense.
ok--that's the last I'll embarass my father and myself. I love him dearly, and I haven't met anyone that doesn't like him, but that stuff was just weird...
Check him into a roach hotel.
may I just call you Big O from now on?
O yeah to the Big O from the Big O.
excellent!!!
I may be missing something about this Big O thing. I have a couple Big O's in mind, but they may not be the same. Are we talking about Overstock.com or ORGASMS?
kat baby, you are absolutely right. i could never date a boy without a sense of humour.
and while my uncle's behaviour was not particularly my sense of humour, it was hillariously inappropriate and, as egan said, not a deal-breaker unless the boy was the most uptight person on earth!
...although if ashton's aunt challenges me to an arm-wrestling match there's no way i'm playing nice (ashton pretended to let my uncle win for a bit)...i'm going to kick her ass across labrador!
Egan - get your mind out of the gutter!!! We are refering to Oabasso as Big O 'cause I keep misspelling his name ;)
"Across Labrador" huh? Wow, maybe we have found an outlet for you.
egan, ashton is from Labrador so i'm guessing that's where the aunts are too.
so it was not a "i'll kick her ass from Winnipeg to Labrador" thing but more of a "i'll kick her ass from Labrador city all the way to the Quebec border where she'll be attacked by separatists and have to fend for herself" kind of thing.
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