sleeping pills are good, yet evil...

i've always had difficulty sleeping. it takes forever for me to fall asleep, at least an hour or so at the very minimum, and i usually end up waking up multiple times throughout the night so it's never really restful when i actually get to sleep. what i wouldn't give to be one of those people who falls asleep in minutes and sleeps through the night. my insomnia is worse when i'm stressed (which i have been in the last few months).

a while back i was taking this stuff called zopiclone to help me sleep, shit is it dangerous stuff! i would find that i would sleep like a baby but not be able to remember anything that happened the night before after i had taken the pills. apparently i forgot making out with my boyfriend while on it one time (he was NOT happy about that, kinda creeped him out understandably). anyway, last night i got home from quebec; was burnt but hyper from 3 days of schmoozing and little sleep so i took a pill and just hung out and watched crap tv for a few hours. i slept so-so because this drug seems to lose its effect if you take it for more than a few months (even if you haven't taken it in a year or so) but today i woke up and couldn't remember what i had done the night before. so after work i sat down in front of the tv and grabbed a video tape of some show (ok, i admit it, it was american idol...everyone is allowed some trash ok!) thinking that i hadn't seen it yet. i start watching and realize that the shirt that paula abdul is wearing looks very familiar...after a few minutes i finally realize that i had already seen the entire show the day before but couldn't remember. that freaks me out a bit and i try to remember what else i had watched last night. i know i watched law & order but couldn't remember anything past the first 15 minutes. i ask my friend who i was watching with if i had actually seen the entire episode and asked her to describe it to me and i couldn't remember anything she said. so yeah, not going to be taking those pills again anytime soon.

so the moral is, avoid the crazy zopiclone it if you can, nothing good can come of it...except blocking out things you don't want to remember, i wish that power could be harnessed. at least if i get sleeping pill amnesia, i want to at least sleep through the night as well.

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