i don't like you....but don't take it personally

how the hell do you not take rejection personally? i'm trying to figure that out. because every aspect of it is personal, romantic rejection especially because it's not about how well you do your job or if you're competent or talented...it just has to do with you, and all the things about you you can't change. it's particularly bad when you know that there's not a better option out there at the moment, there's just you, and they are are refusing you because they'd rather have nothing! and as bad as it is having someone pick someone else over you, it's extra crushing to have them choose 'nothing' over you as though the absence of anything good is better than having you around. how do you not take that personally? because you can change your attitude, change your looks, change the way you act, but you can't suddenly become nothing, you can't compete with that. not that you should have to because obviously this person isn't worth your time because they can't see how great you are, right? but as reasonable as it may be to say "he's not over his ex-girlfriend" or "he's not ready for a relationship" or some other thing that tries to make you feel better about not being picked, it doesn't really work because if you were the 'right' person, he'd be over his ex and he'd be ready for a relationship. and he is, but just not with you. and that hurts like a bitch.

a