this needs a title...

so i'm thinking this 'nice me here' thing isn't going to work, because while i'm not seething with rage so much anymore, i don't really have too many nice things to talk about.

the last few months have been pretty shitty with annoying life changes (break-up, job crap, living situation annoyances, etc.) and i'm just waiting for all that to change....anytime now....

actually, 2004 was a totally garbage year full of stress, bad decisions, and more stress. and so far, 2005 hasn't really been much better. but i'm beginning to think that when you're in a bad space, you're so desperate for something to go right that you leave yourself open to things that normally you'd have the common sense to avoid, and more bad shit happens to you. i guess that's my problem right now, i figure something's got to go right soon so why don't i give it a shot, and then i do and i get fucked and think "why the hell did i do that"? i'm finding it really hard to find a balance between taking risks that are necessary to live a decent life, be a happy person, have new experiences, etc. and those that are just plain old stupid and bound to get you hurt. you never really know until the damage has already been done....so fucking helpful.

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