sometimes you really have nothing to go on...

i need to stop blaming myself for all of my fuck-ups. really. yes, some of them i am absolutely 100% responsible for but others, not so much, and i've got to be a bit easier on myself. for some reason i expect myself to know whenever someone is full of shit and telling me lies or half-truths...but i can't, i can only go from their words and their actions and try to figure out what's going on...and the whole point of a lie is that it fools you into thinking it's the truth. so i can't beat myself up for not knowing that something was going to end up being hurtful to me, because if even my sensible side couldn't see it, then how the hell was my emotional side supposed to see? and you can't respond properly to something you can't see. and the only other option is to become permanently guarded which in itself would be a huge fuck up because you'd miss out on everything fun and exciting and good. right? right.

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