what if there's no reason left to be friends?

yesterday i talked to the friend that i had the "issues" with earlier this year. it was forced and i was guarded and he was in serious avoidance mode again (he's really good at that). and this morning i woke up feeling shitty, shittier than when i wasn't talking to him at all which totally defeats the purpose of trying to be friends because that's supposed to be a good thing, not something stressful that makes me feel bad. so i need to figure this out because i don't NEED another friend and i'm not willing to put up with crappy feelings just to have him stick around. i guess i need to decide what i want and need in this friendship and if he can give that to me. but do i have any real interest in him as a friend anymore? do i have any interest in him at all? it's like i need him to prove that there is some reason for us to be friends....and right now i can't think of one. right now i really don't want anything from him. i don't really care if he's around and don't really have extra energy to call him up and ask him to do stuff. if that's what he wants, he needs to do something about it because i'm looking around in my life to see if there's a place for him right now and there doesn't seem to be a lot of room....i guess he needs to show me that he's worth making room for. hell knows if that will happen.

a