happy birthday to the asshole!

Dear boy who obviously fed me nothing but bullshit and lies for several months,

happy 26th birthday. i hope this year brings you more common sense, particularly when dealing with women. and hopefully the common sense will kick in before you drag in some other unsuspecting soul and crush her too, leaving her going, "what the fuck just happened?".

maybe you should just go back to your ex-girlfriend of 6 years who you claim to not be able to be with but can't seem to get over. seriously, if you really want a huge church wedding, a minivan, 4 children, and an ugly house in the suburbs, i'm sure she can give that to you. but if you actually want to pursue tv, you seriously think she'll follow you around? no fucking way. so stop pushing the adventurous girls aside, the ones who want to try new things, the ones who aren't afraid of moving to the 'big city', the ones who see that kind of thing as an adventure.

whatever, have fun spending your birthday alone on the air and then alone at home. wish i could be there but you fucked that up royally.

from the still pissed at you underemployed girl with the hot new haircut, nice ass, and team of killer grade 3s who will smother you to death with love and politeness.

happy st. patrick's day, and please kiss my 1/8th Irish ass!

a