this is what i do on the weekend....

went to a froofy gallery opening on friday night. a friend i worked with had some works in the show and a girl i attended high school with did too. this is my friend l's stuff. don't know if you can tell but those are giant naked women.





it was good except for the fucking old man comb-over security guard yelled at us for drinking in the wrong area, taking photos (sans flash of course), and using a cell phone.

for using a cell phone for fuck's sake!

we were separated from my friend and i was just trying to call her and find out where she was in the building so we could leave. now this was not a quiet sunday afternoon, this was a fucking loud party with artsy people who thought they were way cooler than they actually are with a maniac dj wearing a mask playing the shriekiest hipster techno music ever. people are probably deaf from the noise. so why is me talking quietly on a cell phone for 60 seconds disruptive? fuckers.




oh, and those hanging thingees? i punched those. so there mr. security guard man.

more about sarah b...

oh, miss blondin, miss blondin, miss blondin....

i have confirmed that she does in fact have a boyfriend. she is also friends with the daughter of a woman i work with who confirms this rumour. the woman from work is not really sure why she went on the show.

and word is, she comes in 4th.

my god. help us all.

to quote one of my grade 5 students, "basically, we're doomed!"

i'm moving to Norway.

guess what?

mama's got a new job....

does anyone actually watch the bachelor?

or care about bachelor gossip?

whatever, i'm telling you anyway.

so there's a girl from winnipeg on the show this year. Sarah b. yeah, the last one out of the car who appeared very very tipsy.

well i heard a rumour today from a friend of mine. apparently she bowls with Sarah B.'s boyfriend's friend.

yeah, boyfriend's friend.

the rumour goes that she went on the show to try and further (ahem, create) an acting career and that her boyfriend was none too pleased about it since they were dating at the time. i will try and find out more. not that i really care but it makes me feel important to know the friend of a friend of the boyfriend of a girl who was on the Bachelor.

i suck.

had a job interview today. went really well. will probably get the job.

problem is that the actual library made me physically ill.

shelves up to the ceiling and no natural light. oh, and a box of an office. this make me gloomy gloomy gus.

i think i may become a gardener or lawn-mower guy or something, i need sunlight.

girl fucking problems....

ladies, have you ever been tempted to dig out your girl parts and replace them with PVC piping?

....cuz i have. since thursday.

this weekend i seriously told J to crack out the scalpel from my Bio 100 dissecting kit and hop to it.

gentlemen, be glad you are men.

that is all i will say.

i need to get more sleep....

so it's 3 am and i'm still awake. lately i can't get to bed any earlier than that, sometimes i'm up as late as 5.

what the fuck?

i'm needing 3 hours to 'wind down' every night, it's ridiculous. even Monchichi can't help me wind down.

any suggestions?

the best gifts ever!

my boy bought me the bestest christmas pressy ever; a giant monchichi (are you jealous steph and egan?) wearing beautiful (and waaaaay too expensive) silver and amber earrings. check it out!





when i opened the box, monchichi was actually wearing the earrings but i didn't notice at first because i was so excited to see the fluffy monkey.



apparently the old russian man at the store where he bought the earrings said, "i hope your girlfriend has a long neck". luckily i do do do.


*and you may also noticed that my wish list has fewer items on it. my mom is a good gifter too!

happy new year!

i've missed everyone a lot, thanks for the good thoughts!

i really had a good holiday. christmas eve, the night i was most worried about (because it was also my mom's birthday), went surprisingly well. j was fabulous and helped clean up and did the dishes and was a great support. there were no tears about dad until i had to go to sleep.

mom and i went to j's family's for christmas dinner. was ok until his brother's girlfriend started talking about the old name for brazil nuts (look it up) and called people 'coloured'. after that i decided to veto a couple of other things in j's family but he was cool with that.

hmmmm, what else? went to a few parties. at one, we met this crazy guy named Rick James (bitch) who was wearing a stolen stethoscope. i started calling him 'the good doctor'. he was very very high and drunk (his eyes were starting to cross) but somehow managed to learn (and remember) everyone's name. he arrived with this pock-faced drug dealer guy who looked like he was on AZT. (i'm sure you're all wondering what kind of parties i go to. heather, it was in Transcona....that might clarify a few things). anyway, rick james is talking nonsense and then pulls out this little tin case, opens it, and removes a beer can bottom filled with hash oil. j and his brother start laughing hysterically...nearly falling off their chairs. i wasn't sure if it had something to do with the drugs or if it was just cuz the good doctor was a fucking freak. turns out, a normal person would need a bottlecap amount of oil to keep his friends stoned all evening and a beer can bottom would be enough to get the whole street high. since i know very little (read: nothing) about these things, i didn't quite get the joke. the things you learn at christmas time.

oh, and the quote of the holiday season (from another party):

was chatting to this guy who was talking about being single and about this girl who was into him...but he wasn't into her. so i asked, "What kind of girl are you looking for?"

and he said,

"Well, you know I just want a plain, simple girl....like a nun......who smokes pot."