that was the longest weekend ever...

of course it was also the hottest weekend of the year. 34 degrees and all the photos were outdoors. the poor guys were melting in their suits and despite my pointy cone boobs being semi-remedied (although i had to keep readjusting them), i nearly died and felt like i looked like shit.

it seems i am the crazy bridesmaid. this is very funny to me because i am rarely ever "the crazy person" in a group. but when you put me in a limo with stoic british guys, married women with babies, and shy country girls, apparently i appear wild and insane. go figure. there should be many silly photos of me goofing off.

i kicked ass with my speech. seriously kicked ass! i was all worried about cute accented UK best man and he was too nervous to eat his game hen! ha ha! and i was way funnier and everyone laughed.

best man had this girlfriend from Brazil. she walked in the room and just oozed sex. it was dripping off her and her emerald green strapless dress, matching pashmina, and flower in her hair into fucking puddles on the floor. and then she started dancing, my god. damn Brazil. i couldn't let her show up the canadian girls so i gave her a run for her money. did not bad if i do say so myself.

what else? oh, i ate all the sugared fruit on our table centrepiece and the 'country' relatives looked at me like i was eating plastic fruit or something but they're just rednecks so i don't care. i fed my friend and her boyfriend the grapes...that will be a good photo!

so yeah, it was a good night and then it was all over...all that prep for one day! geez, it was lovely but i seriously can't ever see myself doing that kind of wedding thing. my wedding will be a pool party with McCain's Deep and Delicious cake served straight from the tin.