just waiting to be screwed over...

i'm carrying around 3 of these....

2006-04-17T14:19:00.000-05:00

no, i'm not pregnant...but i might as well be.

at this time last year i weighed 25 pounds less than i do right now. that's about 3 medium to big babies. gross. and yes mom, i know i was way too skinny last year but still, 25 pounds? needless to say i feel like a fucking lump and need to ditch at least 2 of the three tots.

anyone want 16 pounds of flesh?

miss you guys

2006-04-09T17:27:00.000-05:00

hi everyone. just wanted to say hi and let you know that i'm still here. i can't believe i haven't blogged in almost 2 months. i just don't really have the energy for anything right now. thankfully, i have quit the job at the school and will now only be at one place...i'm really hoping that helps me regain my sense of balance. miss you all. hugs.

don't worry, i'm alive

2006-02-24T18:30:00.000-06:00

i'm just busy with working 2 jobs...law firm in the morning, school in the afternoon, dance troupe drama, getting a new furnace for the house, stupid boring bullshit like that. no time for much else. i'm still reading your blogs though...you know who you are.

i'm sorry....

2006-02-07T16:38:00.000-06:00

lately i've found that i'm overwhelmed with life and feel like i have no time to do anything which is stressing me out...so i've been trying to back away from the computer a little, which means way less time blogging. i'm sorry, i've missed everyone and feel shitty. so what's been going on with me?

my source for 'The Bachelor' was bang on. Sarah B. is gone. that's all i've got folks. make your own predictions from here on in.

got the job at the law firm, still part time at the school for now. not sure how i feel about it. unenthused really. but it's money. and benefits.

still dancing, although it's been stressful lately with too much troupe drama. we'll see how long i last.

i hate winter and have SAD pretty hardcore. i want to move somewhere warm but J is pretty much stuck here for the next 10 years.

despite the fact that he can't relocate my boyfriend still rocks.

i love my mom.

everyone i know is having a damn baby and i keep having to pretend that they're cute. it's very annoying.

did i mention that the weather is driving me nuts? fuck, and it hasn't even been a cold winter....

one year of blogging

2006-02-03T23:23:00.000-06:00

....and i have nothing to say. what a swell way to celebrate my anniversary.

this is what i do on the weekend....

2006-01-29T23:18:00.000-06:00

went to a froofy gallery opening on friday night. a friend i worked with had some works in the show and a girl i attended high school with did too. this is my friend l's stuff. don't know if you can tell but those are giant naked women.

it was good except for the fucking old man comb-over security guard yelled at us for drinking in the wrong area, taking photos (sans flash of course), and using a cell phone.

for using a cell phone for fuck's sake!

we were separated from my friend and i was just trying to call her and find out where she was in the building so we could leave. now this was not a quiet sunday afternoon, this was a fucking loud party with artsy people who thought they were way cooler than they actually are with a maniac dj wearing a mask playing the shriekiest hipster techno music ever. people are probably deaf from the noise. so why is me talking quietly on a cell phone for 60 seconds disruptive? fuckers.

oh, and those hanging thingees? i punched those. so there mr. security guard man.

more about sarah b...

2006-01-25T16:28:00.000-06:00

oh, miss blondin, miss blondin, miss blondin....

i have confirmed that she does in fact have a boyfriend. she is also friends with the daughter of a woman i work with who confirms this rumour. the woman from work is not really sure why she went on the show.

and word is, she comes in 4th.

my god. help us all.

2006-01-24T11:01:00.000-06:00

to quote one of my grade 5 students, "basically, we're doomed!"

i'm moving to Norway.

guess what?

2006-01-23T11:57:00.000-06:00

mama's got a new job....

does anyone actually watch the bachelor?

2006-01-19T17:38:00.000-06:00

or care about bachelor gossip?

whatever, i'm telling you anyway.

so there's a girl from winnipeg on the show this year. Sarah b. yeah, the last one out of the car who appeared very very tipsy.

well i heard a rumour today from a friend of mine. apparently she bowls with Sarah B.'s boyfriend's friend.

yeah, boyfriend's friend.

the rumour goes that she went on the show to try and further (ahem, create) an acting career and that her boyfriend was none too pleased about it since they were dating at the time. i will try and find out more. not that i really care but it makes me feel important to know the friend of a friend of the boyfriend of a girl who was on the Bachelor.

i suck.

2006-01-12T17:00:00.000-06:00

had a job interview today. went really well. will probably get the job.

problem is that the actual library made me physically ill.

shelves up to the ceiling and no natural light. oh, and a box of an office. this make me gloomy gloomy gus.

i think i may become a gardener or lawn-mower guy or something, i need sunlight.

girl fucking problems....

2006-01-09T16:46:00.000-06:00

ladies, have you ever been tempted to dig out your girl parts and replace them with PVC piping?

....cuz i have. since thursday.

this weekend i seriously told J to crack out the scalpel from my Bio 100 dissecting kit and hop to it.

gentlemen, be glad you are men.

that is all i will say.

i need to get more sleep....

2006-01-05T17:20:00.000-06:00

so it's 3 am and i'm still awake. lately i can't get to bed any earlier than that, sometimes i'm up as late as 5.

what the fuck?

i'm needing 3 hours to 'wind down' every night, it's ridiculous. even Monchichi can't help me wind down.

any suggestions?

the best gifts ever!

2006-01-03T00:12:00.000-06:00

my boy bought me the bestest christmas pressy ever; a giant monchichi (are you jealous steph and egan?) wearing beautiful (and waaaaay too expensive) silver and amber earrings. check it out!

when i opened the box, monchichi was actually wearing the earrings but i didn't notice at first because i was so excited to see the fluffy monkey.

apparently the old russian man at the store where he bought the earrings said, "i hope your girlfriend has a long neck". luckily i do do do.

*and you may also noticed that my wish list has fewer items on it. my mom is a good gifter too!

happy new year!

2006-01-01T22:50:00.000-06:00

i've missed everyone a lot, thanks for the good thoughts!

i really had a good holiday. christmas eve, the night i was most worried about (because it was also my mom's birthday), went surprisingly well. j was fabulous and helped clean up and did the dishes and was a great support. there were no tears about dad until i had to go to sleep.

mom and i went to j's family's for christmas dinner. was ok until his brother's girlfriend started talking about the old name for brazil nuts (look it up) and called people 'coloured'. after that i decided to veto a couple of other things in j's family but he was cool with that.

hmmmm, what else? went to a few parties. at one, we met this crazy guy named Rick James (bitch) who was wearing a stolen stethoscope. i started calling him 'the good doctor'. he was very very high and drunk (his eyes were starting to cross) but somehow managed to learn (and remember) everyone's name. he arrived with this pock-faced drug dealer guy who looked like he was on AZT. (i'm sure you're all wondering what kind of parties i go to. heather, it was in Transcona....that might clarify a few things). anyway, rick james is talking nonsense and then pulls out this little tin case, opens it, and removes a beer can bottom filled with hash oil. j and his brother start laughing hysterically...nearly falling off their chairs. i wasn't sure if it had something to do with the drugs or if it was just cuz the good doctor was a fucking freak. turns out, a normal person would need a bottlecap amount of oil to keep his friends stoned all evening and a beer can bottom would be enough to get the whole street high. since i know very little (read: nothing) about these things, i didn't quite get the joke. the things you learn at christmas time.

oh, and the quote of the holiday season (from another party):

was chatting to this guy who was talking about being single and about this girl who was into him...but he wasn't into her. so i asked, "What kind of girl are you looking for?"

and he said,

"Well, you know I just want a plain, simple girl....like a nun......who smokes pot."

here it comes....

2005-12-23T11:41:00.000-06:00

well, i think i'm going to take a christmas blogging hiatus. i'd prefer to sleep through the next 4 days but that's not really an option. wish me luck people, i'm gonna need it.

have a great christmas everyone.

tucker carlson, fuck off.

2005-12-20T16:36:00.000-06:00

"Canada is a sweet country. It is like your retarded cousin you see at Thanksgiving and sort of pat him on the head. You know, he's nice, but you don't take him seriously. That's Canada."

so i guess most of you read that in the paper today. if you didn't, here's a link. yeah, a bit of a fuckwad, huh...

i think Tucker Carlson is like your crazy aunt Debbie's redneck alcoholic asshole 3rd husband. You see him at the holidays, he talks all sorts of bullshit and you just have another glass of wine, roll your eyes, and don't worry too much because soon enough they'll be divorced and he won't be around to irritate people anymore.

*note: actually, it was the 'retarded' comment that really irked me. seriously man, does no one think about what they say before they say it anymore?

i am an ungrateful bitch...

2005-12-19T16:41:00.000-06:00

ever have a friend who you've known forever....cough.....24 years...cough, but somehow doesn't know anything about your personal style? i do. she just sent me a christmas present....and i love her but she obviously has no idea who i am.

it's a bracelet very similar to this, but a cuff:

ok. blog people. you don't 'know me' know me but do i really look like a girl who likes pastel cat's eye? please tell me no.

....as i said, i'm an ungrateful bitch.

my boyfriend is so fucking talented.

2005-12-13T22:28:00.000-06:00

i just wanted to share what i think is the best picture i've ever had taken of me as an adult. J took it of course, when i wasn't looking the sneaky bugger. i look so calm and relaxed....if this is how he sees me, i'm doing ok.

oh really....

2005-12-12T07:44:00.000-06:00

Option #2....kiboshed, these are for chicks with no hips, thighs, or ass

2005-12-09T00:11:00.000-06:00

these are the pants erin suggested. i love them as well and apparently they're reversible so that would rock...2 in 1, how can you go wrong? I'm going tomorrow to check em out and hope they don't cost an arm and a lef.

the company that sells it has a 'manifesto'. it always worries me when people have 'manifestos', they have this cultish thing about them that creeps me out. anyway, this one was kind of cute, earthy, health conscious, and generally innocuous....until i got to this one:

"Just like you did not know what an orgasm was before you had one, nature does not let you know how great children are until you have them. Children are the orgasm of life."

so let me get this correct. if i don't have kids, i'm missing out on the 'orgasm of life'? to that i have to say, go fuck yourself mr. manifesto. i'll find my own orgasm of life that doesn't involve kids thank you very much.

*update to pant shopping: tried these on tonight, looked horrific. seriously horrific. i won't go into detail but it involved gaping and bunching and crotch issues. they are obviously not made for a girl with a curvy ass. plus they were $95. back to the drawing board and choice #1.

intervention needed....

2005-12-07T16:51:00.000-06:00

i'm very tempted to buy these 95 dollar dance pants.

please stop me. why am i acting like i have the money or something?

since when is cheating on your wife romantic?

2005-12-05T17:41:00.000-06:00

yeah, bored and uninspired, that's why i haven't been blogging. the stupid things kids do at school aren't enough to amuse me anymore. people ask me what i want for Christmas and i say "a good paying job with health benefits and for my dad to not be dead". that shuts em up pretty fast.

i'm seriously hating everything. i'm hating the stupid cold weather. i'm hating stupid boys who treat my girlfriends like garbage. i'm hating stupid rich girls who wear LuluLemon clothes to go out for dinner.

J and i went to see 'I walk the line' last night and i was a total fucking irritable biatch. the movie was only about 2 hours and 15 minutes long and during the film about 30 grown-ups got up to use the fucking bathroom. and because i was sitting near the back, i'd hear them every fucking time the goddamn door would slam as them went to relieve themselves. i nearly went snake. i wanted to stand up and yell "sit the fuck down you incontinent assholes!" but i didn't. and i'm sure J was very happy about that. plus, i was having an allergy itch attack and wanted to rip my skin off the whole time.

and after all that, i was kinda disappointed in the movie. i despise hairlip phoenix and thought he made cash look like like a halfwit. and if the movie was at all true to life, johnny cash was a fucking idiot who was lucky to have anyone put up with his fucking bullshit, nevermind marry him. whatever, i'm just grumpy....but don't fucking try me.

gong.....gong.....gong....gong.......

2005-11-30T18:34:00.000-06:00

yesterday i was driving to a bellydance show and couldn't find the stupid location. so i keep driving around and the car in front of me signals to turn left. so he gets over to the far lane and suddenly decides that backing up would be a good idea. sorry, backing up into me would be a good idea. i honk like a sonofabitch but the fucker keeps backing up. crash. turns out the driver is some old guy (who probably shouldn't be driving anymore) and he "didn't see me". which means he didn't look. who the fuck backs up on a major thoroughfare and doesn't look behind them?

fortunately, no damage to me or my car but i was pretty fucked up and i parked on the side of the road so i could cry hysterically in my bellydance garb. not pretty. so yeah, i've got the rage.

i want to live somewhere where there are no cars. i don't think it would be a good idea for me to drive tonight.

no news is good news....

2005-11-21T07:49:00.000-06:00

i didn't hear from the doctor last week so i guess i'm still diabetes free. it would have been nice to have her call me and tell me that so that i don't worry that they just forgot about me but hell, they're just doctors...you can't expect too much. anyway, from now on i will be doing this.

hnt, the photo os has been waiting for...

2005-11-17T12:00:00.000-06:00

thank you my dear os for being so patient....

and the gift is lovely, by the way.

it's my dad's birthday.

2005-11-15T00:04:00.000-06:00

i love you dad and miss you so much. why did you have to leave us....

diabetes update...

2005-11-14T10:45:00.000-06:00

so i went to the doctor for the blood tests on friday. they took about 8,000 vials of blood. well, maybe actually 5 or 6...but it felt like 8,000. now i just have to wait (friday was a holiday so the test results won't actually be in until tomorrow at the earliest i'm sure) and see if the doctor calls me back. let's hope she doesn't, cuz that means bad news.

so the reason i think i'm sick...i went to visit my new doctor on wednesday and she looked at my blood sugar reading, from a test my old doctor had given me a few months back, and it was pretty fucking high. like 14.9 high. this wouldn't have been an issue except for the fact that diabetes is a huge problem in my family; both my grandparents on my mom's side had it, all 3 of my dad's sisters had it (and it pretty much killed them), and my mom has it. so yeah, i'm at risk. and my old doctor mentioned nothing about it. thanks, that's some good doctoring.

oh, and unfunny coincidence...the clinic i went to for the tests happened to be the clinic of my dad's doctor. yeah, the one who didn't spot his serious fucking heart disease. that sure made me feel good. doctors suck.

hnt, back and girl (sorry os and louie, the digital camera is on a road trip without me)

2005-11-10T00:00:00.000-06:00

while playing hide and seek with his nephew, J left his camera in his father's truck. so now the camera is having a lovely vacation in Edmonton and i didn't get a chance to take the photo i planned....this one will have to do for this week.

damn it! (because all my posts seem to begin with 'fuck')

2005-11-09T17:36:00.000-06:00

my doctor thinks i have diabetes. she didn't say those exact words but i know she is thinking it.

i have to go get tests done tomorrow. please cross your fingers for me and hope i don't have diabetes (or something worse).

sometimes i feel like the most broken 29 year old...

2005-11-08T11:29:00.000-06:00

the mississippi goddamn library that wouldn't hire me because i was good, but not good enough, opened yesterday (see photo below).

i'm torn between wanting it to burn down to the fucking ground and hoping they find themselves so understaffed that they offer me a job on the spot.

either one will do.

this is where i should be working....

2005-11-08T11:10:00.000-06:00

but am not.

fuck.

instead, i am still working here.....

this is hell, in case you were confused.

things fucking killing me...

2005-11-07T23:42:00.000-06:00

women who won't go swimming because it's 'that time of the month'. ok, this isn't 1820. are there any women out there who can explain this to me?

veteran license plates. they are a sign that the driver is going to torture me with their shitty driving in their ginormous cars (normally Buicks). i think they should automatically re-test you if you request one of those lovely poppy plates. i understand that you served our country but please, stop driving and bitching about 'kids these days' who actually drive the speed limit and get a car small enough that you can actually control it.

Earl's restaurant waitresses/hostesses. if you live in Western Canada, you know the ones; the women so useless it takes 5 of them 10 minutes to figure out where to seat you. i wonder what happens to those annoying, blonde, short skirt-wearing in the middle of winter girls once they hit 25? because they seem to disappear. i'm of the opinion that they spontaneously combust because they can't possibly exist outside the Earl's universe.

MTS digital TV. it's supposed to be so easy but somehow i can't manage to tape anything even following the fucking directions. i haven't watched 'Medium' in nearly a month and i'm starting to get really pissed.

hnt, belated thanks to princess steph...

2005-11-02T23:06:00.000-06:00

this is the beautiful birthday gift that steph purchased for me!

it took forever for me to pick them out, and then forever for them to arrive, and then forever for me to photograph them but finally.....

here's a closeup shot:

aren't they beautiful? garnet, my favourite stone.

thank you to the best Texas wife i could ever have!

Os and Louie, you two are next for your gift photos, i promise!

2005-11-01T18:41:00.000-06:00

i really feel like i have so little to blog about these days because i'm pretty happy overall. things are ok, other than my crappy job crap which is the same as always and i'm so very sick of complaining about it (as i'm sure everyone's sick about hearing about it). but i want to write about something and since you've all seen the new boy, i thought i'd share some of the reasons he rocks.

good things about new boyfriend. he:

is cute as hell (obviously)
sings and dances with me in the car (a must if you're dating me!)
will actually suggest we go see an art film
lets me pluck his eyebrows
is soooo fucking patient with me and my many quirks
gives the best hugs
has the coolest cats
really sweet and leaves little notes on my car and stuff
is so goddamn neat and clean
is always on time!

feeling photo-y....

2005-10-28T11:48:00.000-05:00

i was feeling brave so this will only be up for a limited time....

aren't i fancy....

2005-10-28T11:36:00.000-05:00

with my messy ponytail and amazing talent? the fork is not touching my face (other than my nose) at all! this is what happens when a local greasy spoon starts serving alcohol.

tagged by megan (thank you so much for that since i am sick and uninspired and it will stop me from talking about the ex)

2005-10-26T11:39:00.000-05:00

Three names I go by:
1. man
2. sweetness
3. sexy

Three screen names I have had:
1. ago-go
2. hostileangel
3. i think i've only had 2

Three physical things I like about myself:
1. eyes
2. teeth
3. collarbone

Three physical things I don't like about myself:
1. thighs
2. scarred-up legs
3. dimply bits

Three parts of my heritage:
1. cherokee
2. romanian
3. german

Three things that scare me:
1. midget horses
2. the thought of losing my mom
3. stupid, ignorant people

Three of my everyday essentials:
1. fruit
2. happy pills
3. emailing

Three of my favorite musical artists:
1. Feist
2. The Gap Band
3. Jamiroquai

Three of my favorite songs:
1. One evening ~ Feist
2. Early in the morning ~ Gap band
3. Eat your words ~ Painting Daisies

Three things I want in a relationship:
1. love
2. honesty
3. the ability to act like asses together

Three lies and truths in no particular order: (you figure out which ones are lies and which ones are the truth)
1. I am secretly engaged.
2. I have gout.
3. I love my job.
4. I have trichotillomania.
5. I love dogs. Especially big, jumping, slobbery ones. (megan, i had to keep this one!)
6. I look really good in all hats.

Three physical things about the opposite sex that appeals to me:
1. eyes
2. voice
3. hands

Three of my favorite hobbies:
1. dancing
2. writing
3. acting the fool

Three things I want to do really badly now:
1. not go to work
2. go back to sleep
3. wake up and go shopping for shoes

Three careers I'm considering/I've considered:
1. ballerina
2. psychiatrist
3. housewife (at least that won't make me feel so bad that my job sucks!)

Three places I want to go on vacation:
1. Tahiti (actually, i want to move there)
2. Texas
3. Egypt

Three kid's names I like:
1. Andresa
2. Caleb
3. Audrey

Three things I want to do before I die:
1. have my own house
2. cut my hair short
3. perform in the chorus of a musical in front of a large audience

Three ways that I am stereotypically like a boy:
1. i don't worry about my weight
2. i don't wear makeup most of the time
3. i swear a lot

Three ways that I am stereotypically a girl:
1. i like shoes and clothes way too much
2. i like jewelry and sparkly things
3. sometimes i take an hour to get dressed

Three celeb crushes:
1. Ewan McGregor (not a la Star Wars!)
2. Jessica Alba
3. Gary Dourdan

Three (i'm picking 4, so there!) people that I would like to see post this meme:
1. katarina
2. jen
3. andi
4. funky bee

sick sick sick....

2005-10-25T23:25:00.000-05:00

i'm sick, sniffling and snorting, and today, almost passing out at work. that's all. pathetic and boring.

fuck, i peeked....

2005-10-21T15:49:00.000-05:00

i peeked at my ex's blog. stupid, stupid, stupid.

i stopped reading after a paragraph or two but caught enough to see that he's writing about our s-e-x life. ewww, ewww, ewww...i still have that icky feeling, like i'm going to puke.

there are bloggers who know that he is writing about me and it grosses me out. for that matter, there are mutual friends of ours who read it and that really grosses me out!

and because i'm not supposed to be reading his blog, i can't ask him to please stop or defend myself when he says something untrue.

is it wrong of me to want him to get amnesia and forget we ever went out?

hnt, i can see you now....

2005-10-20T00:39:00.000-05:00

awake, but a little tired.

(new pictures are well overdue, this weekend i promise i will take some new ones.)

how cute is my boyfriend?

2005-10-19T16:48:00.000-05:00

this cute apparently!

last night J. and I were out getting some photos developed at a local grocercy store. we walk up to photo counter and the girl working there blurts out to him,

"you look just like the Transporter!"

this is funny because we had already decided that Jason Statham should play J. in the movie version of his life. i think Statham is adorable, and so is my boy, so this was a huge compliment.

however, this girl also laughed hysterically when she heard us talking about the photos being belly dancing pics so maybe she's not the best authority.

something's missing...

2005-10-17T17:13:00.000-05:00

this was the first Thanksgiving without my dad.

i don't really care all that much about the holiday (other than the monday off) because normally we'd just have a quiet family time at home. this year my mom went out of town to visit her brother and i was home by myself for a few days. on the friday before Thanksgiving i went to make dinner and came across the frozen pizzas i was going to make the day my dad died of the heart attack on may 5th.

the day he died we were at home by ourselves and i was going to throw in the pizza so we could hang out and eat and watch tv for a bit. that never happened. i was downstairs, heard a crash, ran upstairs and found my dad ice old on the floor. on of the first thing he said to me was, "don't bother cooking for me, i'm not hungry." needless to say, i wasn't thinking about eating and those pizzas sat on the countil until i finally threw them back in the freezer.

that was 6 months ago. 2 fridays ago i finally decided to eat them, kind of a virtual Thanksgiving with my dad. it felt so sad to not be eating with him, he was my Law & Order buddy, my pizza eating buddy, the person who helped me tease my mom. i miss him so much. i'm really sad that he can't meet my new boy. i'm sad about a lot of things. next comes his birthday, american Thanksgiving (which he always celebrated with his sisters in the US until the last one died in 2004), Christmas, the scattering of his ashes. i don't think i want to be there for that, i have my own ways of saying goodbye; eating our last pizza, flipping through his record albums, sleeping in the sweater that still smells like him. i just wish i didn't have to keep saying goodbye over and over again.

oh, how i wish it was the lottery....(which is 30 million this weekend btw)

2005-10-14T18:26:00.000-05:00

my job sucks ass and is starting to dissolve my brain cells one by one. not a good thing.

i got chastized yesterday for sending a notice in the school bulletin without my name. what the fuck? and apparently it was 'nagging'. whatever bitch. i want to punch the librarian in the face; i'm not trying to steal your fucking job, i can't have it because i'm not a fucking teacher (even though i have a masters and you don't)! yeah, i'm just fed up. am applying for another 'good' job next week, fingers crossed please.

i need to not work at my job anymore...

2005-10-14T08:18:00.000-05:00

that's all i'll say for now...but there's more coming.

hnt...not watching you

2005-10-13T01:17:00.000-05:00

william wegman you are a sick sick man...

2005-10-07T16:34:00.000-05:00

i almost prevented this book from being catalogued.

this should never be done to fairy tales. or to dogs for that matter! creepy.

mushy hnt...

2005-10-06T00:51:00.000-05:00

if you haven't guessed, there's a boy. and it's been 3 months and he hasn't run away or done anything dumb-assed like they usually do within the 3 month ago-go trial period. he's lovely. sometimes life is good.

whatever...and some other stuff

2005-10-04T01:58:00.000-05:00

what is the deal with those tall skinny aquafina water bottles? it's still 500 millilitres, i can tell even though it's not as short and fat as the regular one! fuckers can't pull the wool over my eyes and trick me into thinking it's bigger or something. and these stupid skinny bottles don't fit properly in the drink holder in my car and fly out every time i turn a corner.

low fat cheese (which i now eat on my 'trying to behave' gout diet). oh my god, it tastes like fucking crap. takes away all the joy that comes from eating cheese. which for me is a lot.

i need new internal organs, more specifically kidneys. i don't mean to mock anyone who actually has failing kidneys and i am quite happy that i am generally in good health but come on...repeat bladder infections, kidney infections, and now 'the gout'? obviously my kidneys are going to shit. i thought that's why we had 2 kidneys each! anyone want to donate a new urethra and kidney or two? maybe i should put that on my wish list.

it's amazing that women don't kill themselves when going shopping. if you're a guy, you're a small, medium, or large, or 36, 38, whatever. but apparently i am a size 6, 8, and 11. go figure....cuz no one can decide on a standard size. no wonder women have body issues! and we torture ourselves thinking that we're fat or something. there's no way the fashion industry would do this to men. men would just stop buying clothes altogether...or maybe they would buy a size medium (and wear it) even if it didn't fit them right. and i'm sorry but when i'm wearing a large or extra-large, what are the actual 'large' people supposed to wear?

photos from green party performance

2005-10-02T14:00:00.000-05:00

2 weeks ago my dance troup danced for a Green Party fundraiser. very few people were there and it was kind of a gong-show (initially they wanted us to dance on 5 feet of stage...what the fuck?) but we did get to dance on one of the nicer stages in the city so that was fun. and the 50 people watching seemed to like us.

that's me, second from the left.that's me, second from the left (if you couldn't guess)

....wearing my new skirt and choli that i bought on ebay.

...and now, wearing the bras...

...i hate the bras by the way.

i tagged myself on this one because it was so cute...

2005-09-29T17:24:00.000-05:00

i stole this from the lovely kalani

Directions:

Go to Google and click on the images link. Type in the following and post the first (or your favorite) picture the search engine finds.

- The name of the town where you grew up
- The name of the town where you live now
- Your name
- Your Grandmother’s name (pick one)
- Your favorite food
- Your favorite drink
- Your favorite song
- Your favorite smell

town where i was born/live now (same place)

(apparently i live and grew up in outer space)

my name

my grandma's name

favourite food

favorite drink

favorite song (one of them)

favorite smell

i'd like to tag Jen, Kat, and Andi....and anyone else who'd like to play!

hnt...tribal tongue

2005-09-29T00:36:00.000-05:00

exhausted rocking out face after strange green party fundraiser performance. exactly.

oh. my. god.

2005-09-26T18:53:00.000-05:00

someone has to buy me this!

i mean, come on...if it isn't meant for me (and megan), who the hell is it meant for?

(size large please)

too close for comfort

2005-09-26T00:30:00.000-05:00

a while ago i blogged about reading my ex-boyfriend's blog. well, i've done really really well and haven't read it, and truly have no interest in doing so. and thought i was home free. but recently i've discovered that my ex is now commenting on the blogs of some of my favourite blog hos...not so good.

yes, i realize that i can't control where someone blogs and which blogs he comments on and maybe i'm being a selfish bitch but seriously, back off of my blogger friends and get your own!

i worry that it will start with one blogger and because the blog community is so small, soon he'll be every-fucking-where and i won't want to comment anymore. i really don't want him to see my comments, not only because i don't want him to find my blog but because this is the place where i feel like i get to choose who hears what i have to say...and if he's around to read comments i make, i won't have that anymore.

so if i suddenly disappear from blogging it's because my ex has invaded and i have been forced to relocate to myspace....shudder.

is it wrong to want to strangle an 8 year old/grade 3 boyfriend workin' it/cat in the hat...

2005-09-22T16:59:00.000-05:00

had library class with the grade 3s the other day. these are the crazy grade 2s from last year with the 21 year old midget.

they come in and tear the place apart like crazed apes. they're funny and incessantly talking and asking question and ignoring the teacher.

3 of them ask if they can look up something in the card catalogue. i say fine. 5 minutes later one of them comes up to me carrying 2 cards he ripped out of the drawer. can you help me find godzilla? you ripped the cards out? what? i think i actually just choked on my tongue a little and said very nicely and said, "you may look in the card catalogue but you never, ever, rip cards out". they said they were sorry but i think they were lying.

then, the midget says to me, "you're hot". i'm like "what!?!". he then says, "just kidding" and proceeds to tell me that it's his brother who thinks i'm hot and beautiful and is in love with me and wants to marry me. ok. i have never met his brother. i ask the midget how old his brother is. turns out he's 4 and doesn't even go to my school so i don't know how he's managed to fall in love with me. i tell the midget that maybe he should bring his brother to come meet me. "no", he says, "you'll just fall in love and get married!". well, uh no, he's 4. and you're crazy!

then he asks me when i'm going to get married (he seems a bit obsessed with this topic to me). i tell him that i don't know. he tells me that i should marry the Cat in the Hat because it will last forever.

hnt. yes, i have a very long and skinny neck...

2005-09-22T01:02:00.000-05:00

my. god.

2005-09-15T17:37:00.000-05:00

last night i met my friend A for drinks (yes, i expressly ignored the gout diet and had 2 green apple martinis...and i thoroughly enjoyed them!) and she mentions that she's becoming friends the "the boy". yes, "the boy". her boyfriend plays in the band my ex was in and the boy hangs out at that bar on sundays so it's not super unusual. at least that part wasn't.

so A asks me if i had ever hung out with the boy outside the bar (note: no one at the bar really knows the details of the situation) and i said yes and that we stopped hanging out because his crap became too confusing (understatement). she asked me to explain and i was fairly honest and said that he was all "I like you...we'd be good together but I just want to be friends" and i couldn't handle it anymore (again, a gross understatement).

the super hilarious thing is that he's now doing to her exactly what he did to me back in November/December. in the words of the brilliant polly, exactly. exact. lee.

he tells her she has beautiful eyes, he tells her that he loves her shoes, he puts his arm around the back of her chair, he stares at her, he touches her leg with his foot under the table. he emails her a few times everyday and brings up flirty topics like fantasies, he wants her to call him at work, he invites her down to the studio where he works. he tells her he doesn't want to make her boyfriend mad with their 'friendship' because he really respects him as a musician.

my fucking god. he said all of those things, in addition to me having perfect teeth and a great ass, to me! exactly. and i told A that.

what a fucking cheeseball scammer! he needs a new fucking MO or something. my god, what a loser. helloooo? stop hitting the the girlfriends of the musicians you 'respect' so much...or at least get some new fucking lines.

but this totally helps me understand what he did to me; he likes flirting with unavailable women because there's no risk. he can be as inappropriate as he wants under the guise of friendship but when a relationship is actually a possibility, he freaks out, acts like an ass and bails...but then still wants to be friends because flirting and sexual tension is oh so fun.

what a fucker. makes me laugh.

letting myself go....(and not in a good way)

2005-09-13T16:38:00.000-05:00

bleah. this is the 4th, maybe 5th day in a row that i've worn my hair in a ponytail and i don't care. actually i'm not sure when i last washed my hair. gross. i'm surprised that i'm actually wearing matching clothes to work because i really don't care. today i managed to wear something ugly, yet matching but i undid all of that good by wearing my oh so fashionable, but gout foot friendly, navy Tevas....so stylish. fuck people, it was all i could do to show up at work today.

i'm spending money as though i actually have it. poor people should not go on Ebay and buy bellydancing shit. poor people should not go on Amazon and spend a birthday gift certificate and then spend an extra 20 (american) dollars on jewelry because then shipping is free. bad idea. but i've now got some nice garnet earrings coming...those should be really useful when times get tough. i should not be going out every night of the week (R!, are you working tomorrow night?)....at least i'm not 'supposed' to drink.

and it looks like the money situation won't be changing anytime soon. didn't get a call about an internship that i thought for sure i'd get an interview...it's an internship for fuck's sake! you're not supposed to need experience!

i'm starting to wonder how long i can be underemployed before people start to look at my resume and say, "gee, she must be fucking incompetent if she's got a masters and still works part time as a clerk for $13/hr". really. i'm thinking that i should add a section to my resume stating:

"My dad died suddenly in May you motherfuckers and if I look for a job out of the city my mom will be all alone, and I would be all alone. And I'm not not doing that to either of us. And Winnipeg librarians don't retire and the hiring practices are totally nepotistic and it's impossible to get a job here. so fuck right off."

....do you think there's a nice way to say that?

anything to be rid of the gout picture....as per steph's suggestion

2005-09-10T03:55:00.000-05:00

guess who has gout? (note, this is not my hnt entry...see below for that, it's much cuter)

2005-09-08T13:18:00.000-05:00

i do! i do!

that is not my foot but it looks quite a bit like mine, minus the hairy leg.

my fucking lord...i didn't think 29 year old healthy women were supposed to get the old people, 1820 disease...

a just peachy hnt...

2005-09-08T01:22:00.000-05:00

no splainin' necessary...

buy a trained monkey and call it ago-go...

2005-09-07T11:21:00.000-05:00

my job is slurping out my brain through a big ol' bent up straw. but just in bits at a time, little brain chunks that fucking hurt like a bitch.

i've worked a total of 18 hours and i want to quit. the kids aren't even there yet.

i hate my job and anyone could fucking do it. i should just buy a monkey, put a dress on it, give it a date stamp, send it to work, and call it ago-go and no one would fucking notice. no one. i swear to you.

birthday, weekend, and more uninteresting stuff...

2005-09-06T16:40:00.000-05:00

well, i had a great birthday. thanks everyone for the happy birthday wishes!

had a wine and cheese picnic in the afternoon on saturday and then went bowling with a bunch of friends in the evening. i suck at bowling so it was extra fun. R!, we went to the Tavern for drinks afterwards and i did not spy you...maybe next time!

and from there i had the laziest weekend ever; lots of sleeping in and eating crappy food and wine-drinking...it was great!

so, guess what i got for loot?

this:

and this:

so, so excited. i will be in Wonder Woman til i die!

and of course, i received many other wonderful things...i love getting gifts as a grownup because they're nice and unexpected.

oh, and i had the worst job interview ever on wednesday. well, maybe not ever but pretty bad. it was for a cataloguing job and the interview itself was fine; i was confident and answering everything right and then she asked me to do the 'assignment'. well, i had a total blank and it was as though they had asked me to start speaking italian -i could fake my way through counting to 10 and saying "hello" and "vinegar" but that's about it. it was a train wreck...just got the phone message that i didn't get the job. no shit.

and here are couple of photos from the july wedding...they're slowly trickling in....i really need a scanner.

gummi bear dessert is McCain Deep and Delicious chocolate cake (my absolute fave) with ice cream and gummi bears on the side. yum....

2005-09-03T12:38:00.000-05:00

happy birthday to me!

1 more day and counting until i get my gummi bear birthday dessert....(i'm keeping this at the top as a countdown)

2005-09-01T07:20:00.000-05:00

the wishlist is still there by the by. totally sort of kidding...i just love getting gifts in the mail!

and r, what is "the Tavern"...i'm interested....Petrow, i think r is away...do you know?

hnt...sorry i'm late.

2005-09-01T07:19:00.000-05:00

please ignore the gentleman's head below me and the cute blonde over my shoulder and look at my fucking evil looking hand! looks like skeletor. i think i am fixing my hair but it looks like i'm having much more fun than that. i wasn't.

(this is a pic from the wedding back in august btw, i finally got some pictures!)

os, you rule!

2005-08-31T15:25:00.000-05:00

got my first ever gift from my "the things i want" list! os sent me a beautiful purple silk bellydance hip scarf. it's lovely. there will be pictures posted of it (or me in it) soon! hugs to you os.

apparently i'm the queen of inappropriate public behaviour....who knew?

2005-08-30T11:57:00.000-05:00

i was out this past weekend at a fabulous dance party on a boat; tons of people, 2 djs, that kind of fun thing. my friend and i were talking about skeezers and he tells me that he can tell what a girl is like in bed just by looking at her. so we're laughing and picking out girls and he's giving me his thoughts. then two of our friends (girl and a guy, a couple) come and sit down with us and we fairly quickly wrap up the skeezer talk.

so the next day my friend goes for coffee with the girl who was at our table and she says that she was bothered by our conversation. he's all confused because she was not part of the convo at all, she obviously just overheard a few bits and pieces but apparently she was offended by the sexual nature of the talking.

ok, so what the fuck is with people who listen in on a private conversation, get offended by the topic, and then approach you and ask you to not talk like that around them? hello? i'm sorry, but if you are eavesdropping, you have no fucking right to complain about what you are hearing. stop fucking listening! i mean, come on...we were at a party with adults, not some 5 year old's birthday party.

.....grrrr....fucking irks me. i want to tell her the fuck off! some people's children.

sevens -taggesd by andi

2005-08-29T12:55:00.000-05:00

Seven Things I Plan To Do Before I Die
1. go to north carolina and visit the town named after my first name in the county named after my last name. oh, and visit egypt and my homeland of norway
2. learn how to shave my legs without cutting myself
3. publish a book of poetry...either that or a humour book
4. make enough money to be able to buy red peppers even if they're not on sale!
5. find a job i love that allows me to have 3 day weekends
6. find someone to grow old with
7. fix my horrible eyesight

Seven things I can do

1. touch my tongue to my nose
2. talk in the 'Stitch' voice
3. write a poem about anything (i won a contest by writing library haiku if you can imagine)
4. dance
5. roll my eyes like a kitty clock
6. remember everything (almost)
7. shop.

Seven things I can not do

1. eat carrots, celery, potatoes, peas, barley, soy, or sesame seeds
2. wear uncomfortable shoes
3. kiss ass
4. tolerate narcissists
5. drink coffee past noon and not end up running laps or twitching uncontrollably until 5am
6. handle criticism
7. shave my legs

Seven things that I find really attractive about the opposite sex

1. a sense of humour
2. shoulders (i'm with andi on that one), especially shoulder dimples
3. clean , fresh out of the shower smell
4. straightupfulness, no bullshit
5. a strong hug
6. small tokens of thoughtfulness
7. guys who stand up for themselves

Seven things I say the most

1. enough!
2. fucking hell.
3. my word.
4. so anyway...
5. ok, well then.
6. what a jerk-face.
7. bastards (or fuckers)

Seven Books I LOVE

1. The Virgin Suicides, Jeffery Euginides
2. The Griffin and Sabine books -all of them, Nick Bantock
3. The Stone Angel, Margaret Laurence
4. Green Grass Running Water, Thomas King
5. The Temple of My Familiar, Alice Walker
6. anything Dick and Jane (i have a collection)
7. anything not Charles Dickens

Seven people I'd like to see do the seven thing (and if you don't wanna do it, ignore me):

1. katarina
2. jen
3. steph
4. corinna
5. r!
6. petrow
7. lucky pink
...and anyone else who feels the urge.

another addition to the bellydance series

2005-08-26T11:41:00.000-05:00

more maté drama!

2005-08-25T20:00:00.000-05:00

well, i know those of you who read the true story about the maté thought it was very weird...and yes, yes it was. but it was true and it cracked me up and that's why i wrote it. so to humour myself, and to confuse those of you who will read this, here is:

the true story of the maté, part 2

young j was very happy with his mephisto sandals when he went out shopping on a saturday afternoon. it was a beautiful day and he went to a lovely part of town with lots of cute little shops.

as he strolled leisurely down the street he approached a health food store. out front was a display and who was running the display? why, it was the cult people who would not make j his sandals because they were too busy with the maté! it so happened that the whole table was covered in different kinds of maté with samples and cult literature. j thought to himself, "hmmm, after all the drama it has caused me, i should try some of this maté" and he stopped to have a sample.

seeing a nice anglo-saxon potential breeder for their cult the man and woman at the table spoke kindly to him. "have you heard of the maté before?" the man asked. "why yes," j said, "in fact your cult made my old sandals but were too busy with the maté to make me a new pair." "yes," said the cult guy, "we are very busy with the maté." "it seems so," said j, "i spoke to Ornon several times about the shoes..." at the very mention of Ornon's name, the cult woman turned pale, went inside the health food store and never came back out. "hmmmm, Ornon must have told the cult that i'm a narc or something" thought j as he sipped his peppermint maté that did not taste very good, "thank god i bought the mephistos."

the end (again, at least for now)

my birthday is in 9 days...beware

2005-08-25T01:55:00.000-05:00

once again it's thursday....

2005-08-24T13:44:00.000-05:00

another shot from the bellydance series.

work (or lack of work) is pushing me over the edge...

2005-08-24T11:40:00.000-05:00

the woman from the Millennium library called today to tell me that i didn't get the reference job. actually, i knew last night that i didn't get it because this girl i know emailed me dishing that she got the job...oh, the joys of pretending to be happy for her!

i have sent out at least 15 resumes over the last 2 months and have had a total of 1 interview (the job i didn't get), 1 goddamn interview!...what a way to crush my spirit. all this internal hiring is fucking pissing me off! -don't pretend that you actually want my resume and then don't call me in for an interview and then send me a letter saying that you were really impressed with my resume but you hired someone else....you obviously hired internally so fuck right off.

so since i can't find a decent job i'm fucking stuck going back to the school in September and i've been trying to find out what day i have to go back. you'd think the fucking head HR people could tell me that. but no. and now i have to find someone who actually knows. you too can fuck right off head HR people! maybe i should just forget to go back.

i think i'm just going to go back to bed. buy me something from my list, that might make me feel better...

tribal show...

2005-08-18T15:57:00.000-05:00

full version of HNT pic...

the group under the canopy...

me...

me again...

hnt in honour of my first public tribal bellydance performance

2005-08-18T12:00:00.000-05:00

this is my ear all stretched out by my giant costume earrings. oh, and there's a bit o' cheek, neck, and hair as well.

my dance troupe performed at a lovely open-air venue this past saturday...it was great. will post more pictures soon.

a true story about the maté

2005-08-17T13:01:00.000-05:00

there once was a young man named "j" who bought a pair of sandals from a religious cult. this cult made very good sandals as well as very good spelt bread and j was very excited about his new shoes. he wore them everywhere and with everything for many years until finally, he had worn his sandals so much that his toe had worn through the sole to the ground.

because he liked these shoes so much, j decided to find the cult and see if they could make him a new pair but alas, they no longer had a shoe shop. but one day, he ran into them at a festival and asked if they could make him some new shoes. they said sure, but only if he brought in the old ones and they gave him a phone number to call. he spoke to a strange man named ornon and they left messages back and forth about the shoes. ornon wouldn't seem to commit and the store was only open from noon to 3pm and j began to wonder if they thought he was a narc or something.

then one day, very early in the morning, ornon phoned j and told him that he could no longer make him the shoes because his manager said that "they were too busy with the maté". j said ok and hung up, however he was confused about the maté. "what is this maté?" he asked, "and why does it make them too busy to make me some sandals?" his friends tried to help. "maybe it's a religious ceremony that takes lots of preparation?" they said, "or maybe it's one of the natural products from their store?"

after a while it began to anger him, "this maté, why is it ruining everything? all i want is a new pair of shoes!" so he drove by the cult's 'natural product store' and found nothing but a dark warehouse and gates and a 'beware of dog sign'. "what a scam", j said, "this is not a store that sells organic toothpaste! what is this maté? i guess i am never getting my new sandals."

because poor j was so sad his friend decided to take him shopping for new sandals not made by a cult. at the first store they went to j told his sad story to the salesgirl. "oh," she said, " i think maté is this special tea that the cult makes." "really?" said j, "how much of this tea do they need to make?" "i don't know," she said, "but i think that's what it is."

so j bought a pair of Mephistos and laughed about the maté.

the end.

my ex boyfriend has a blog....that's where the problems start

2005-08-16T02:48:00.000-05:00

my ex has a blog which he started shortly after we broke up. he told me about it and since i'm a nosy librarian with serious confidence in her web-searching skills i went looking for it, not cuz i actually wanted to see it (well, maybe a little) but because i wanted to prove to myself (and him) that i rock! well, i found his blog and now i'm starting to regret that i did. for a while it was fine to read it but now he's starting to dissect our relationship, which is totally his right, but i just see him as being totally off base with things....and that makes me want to comment and say, "fuck man, that is not why we broke up! " but i can't because it would be stupid of me to engage him in that. so now i need to untrain myself and not read his blog anymore which is a little difficult after reading it since fucking february. but it's not healthy for me to keep reading about how he thinks i 'gave up' on the relationship, how i'm bound to recreate the same situation again, etc., etc.

i think i need some kind of system that will give me a shock whenever i go to his blog. on second thought, i might enjoy that too much...

sigh...

2005-08-13T00:42:00.000-05:00

ever talked to your ex-boyfriend on the phone and wanted to reach through the receiver and strangle him? cuz that was me today. who ever said that staying friends with an ex is a good idea is looped.

it's thursday...

2005-08-11T00:01:00.000-05:00

since i missed last week i tried to make this one a good one.

gong show doctor's office visit, AKA some days you should just not leave the house...

2005-08-09T12:52:00.000-05:00

had a semi-emergency visit to the doctor on saturday. i show up at five minutes to 9 hoping to be the first person there and there are already 3 other people waiting. we wait and wait and wait and it's quarter after and we're still standing outside. finally get in and white trash trailer receptionist shows up wearing daisy dukes and a white elastic peasant top. so not only does she look like she should be drunk at a barbeque, she brings her 2 kids to work! to work! why why why? so this woman has her 2 evil children with her and they are goddamn feral children. wild, running around, slamming doors, fighting with each other...you'd think if you were forced to bring your devil spawn to work you'd bring a colouring book or something so they don't start climbing the walls. but i guess when you let wolves raise your children you don't think about things like that.

so derrick (satan's 3 year old) is about to slam the door on the reception desk for the 18th time and meanwhile, evil 5 year old daughter is attacking herself with a self-inking stamp. stamping her arms, stamping her legs...then she stops, holds the stamp up to her neck, looks us right in the eye, scowls, and fucking rams herself in the neck with the stamp. 10 minutes later trailer mom finally notices this and says angrily "why on earth would you do that to yourself?" i nearly fell of my seat. you see, trailer mom has half a dozen cheap ass lick-and-stick style tattoos all over her body: her boobs, her back, her arms....and she's wondering why her daughter felt inclined to stamp herself? now that is comedy.

so i finally get in to see the doctor and he figures i need to get a urine test. so i walk to the washroom, step over derrick having a fit on the floor, and go pee in the cup, put it on the bathroom shelf, leave, and give the slip to the lady at the desk. "where's your sample?", she asks me. i left it in the bathroom because i figure that's where you should leave samples, and she asks me to get it. so i'm walking through a busy waiting room of people carrying a hot glass of pee that looks like beer and clamato juice. she looks at it and says, "weren't you given a jar?" what? a fucking jar? there were only cups in the bathroom! so she gives me a little jar and i have to walk back across the lobby with my radioactive urine, step over derrick, go to the washroom and pour my pee from the glass into the jar, walk back across the lobby with the pee in the jar and give it to the woman at the desk! fuck, how fucking embarrassing.

so then i wait for the woman to call me back to the doctor's office and she sits me down and leaves the room. 2 seconds later, she comes back and whispers to me, "you weren't here for a pregnancy test, were you?" uh, no...should i be? "oh good", she says, "i did the right test then!" the right test? jesus fucking christ woman! what the hell?

fucking gong show i tell you.

i saw taz!

2005-08-09T12:18:00.000-05:00

i was walking down the street and saw this guy sitting at a patio. "hey, is that taz?", i said, very loudly apparently because he turned and looked at me. oops, kinda embarrassing!

2005-08-05T15:08:00.000-05:00

i am on a house-sitting hiatus and have had sporadic internet access this week. i am playing mom to two kittens. will return soon i promise.

hnt, i'm a boring sob this week...

2005-07-27T23:48:00.000-05:00

my bony hand rocking out.

roadhouse is on...again.

2005-07-27T23:10:00.000-05:00

is there anyone left on earth who hasn't seen 'Roadhouse' at least 4 or 5 times? cuz i fucking have. and for some reason i have to watch it every damn time.

this, my friends, is a perfect example of bad Can-con...

2005-07-25T09:21:00.000-05:00

for all of you who do not recognize this man, this is shawn desman. he is Canada's cheap, lame-ass version of Usher except he's way worse and even more annoying than whiny whoa-oa-oa U-boy (who, by the way, has been pleasantly absent from my summer!). betcha didn't think that was possible, did ya?

anywho, my gripe of the moment is what the fuck has shawn done to his hair? really, who though this was a good idea? i fucking hate him and his crappy music and his bullimic girl videos and it really pisses me off that he (badly) ripped off Yaz. yeah shawn, you're so fucking 'street' with your hair, tracksuit, and bad lick-and-stick tattoos. please go back to your house in brampton or whatever...

boring...

2005-07-22T19:10:00.000-05:00

holy shit, i am a boring blogger when i'm happy. and for the first time in over a year, i think i'm genuinely happy again. not just 'doing ok and faking my way through' happiness but actual, 'things are going well and i'm optimistic about stuff' happiness. unfortunately, this yields fewer good stories about stupid people and assholes who piss me off and that kind of thing. sorry.

i guess i shouldn't complain about being happy because i'm sure soon it will end and then i'll be back bitching and moaning and waiting to get screwed over again. until then, you'll have to deal with happy (and less interesting) ago-go.

happy hnt!

2005-07-21T00:44:00.000-05:00

taken last night....

how soon the joy dissipates....

2005-07-20T15:23:00.000-05:00

weird day today.

all my happiness from yesterday seems to have worn off.

not sad really, just feeling lonely.

feeling guilty for going out all the time and leaving mom at home.

feeling guilty for really wanting to move out and get my own place.

my body hates me again.

my muscles and joints ache like a bitch.

mosquito counts are in the thousands.

i think i might have West Nile Virus.

no, i'm not a hypochondriac.

all is well

2005-07-19T14:54:00.000-05:00

thanks kids for all the crossed appendages!

the interview went really well as far as i can tell. very relaxed nice people and the new library building rocks! they'll contact me within the next 2 weeks with the competition results. overall, i feel fabulous. today is a good day!

call for support

2005-07-18T22:06:00.000-05:00

job interview. tomorrow. 9am. would be a fucking kick-ass job and the answer to my money difficulties. if you love me, keep your fingers crossed.

the list (stolen lovingly from megan)

2005-07-18T12:45:00.000-05:00

1. the creepy violinist who was into tantra

2. the actor who rode the Partridge family bus across the US, became a hard-core Scientologist, and claimed that Lupus could be cured by getting "clear". oh, and whose next girlfriend was on Popstars 2 -making the boy/girl band

3. the drug addict who owned a hearse and got his roommate to tattoo a huge pentagram on his forearm because he was sad cuz he thought i had broken up with him

4. the one who was in the Air Force but was afraid to fly

5. the elfin musician who was chronically late

6. the radio guy who managed to break my heart without us ever 'dating'

7. the illegal steroid user who dumped me over the phone and then got his

8. the one i really really really hope works out

that was the longest weekend ever...

2005-07-15T23:58:00.000-05:00

of course it was also the hottest weekend of the year. 34 degrees and all the photos were outdoors. the poor guys were melting in their suits and despite my pointy cone boobs being semi-remedied (although i had to keep readjusting them), i nearly died and felt like i looked like shit.

it seems i am the crazy bridesmaid. this is very funny to me because i am rarely ever "the crazy person" in a group. but when you put me in a limo with stoic british guys, married women with babies, and shy country girls, apparently i appear wild and insane. go figure. there should be many silly photos of me goofing off.

i kicked ass with my speech. seriously kicked ass! i was all worried about cute accented UK best man and he was too nervous to eat his game hen! ha ha! and i was way funnier and everyone laughed.

best man had this girlfriend from Brazil. she walked in the room and just oozed sex. it was dripping off her and her emerald green strapless dress, matching pashmina, and flower in her hair into fucking puddles on the floor. and then she started dancing, my god. damn Brazil. i couldn't let her show up the canadian girls so i gave her a run for her money. did not bad if i do say so myself.

what else? oh, i ate all the sugared fruit on our table centrepiece and the 'country' relatives looked at me like i was eating plastic fruit or something but they're just rednecks so i don't care. i fed my friend and her boyfriend the grapes...that will be a good photo!

so yeah, it was a good night and then it was all over...all that prep for one day! geez, it was lovely but i seriously can't ever see myself doing that kind of wedding thing. my wedding will be a pool party with McCain's Deep and Delicious cake served straight from the tin.

hnt, again. i really need to get some more photos on my computer, i'm running out of material...

2005-07-13T23:59:00.000-05:00

arm and sliver of back.

hey everybody....

2005-07-13T15:49:00.000-05:00

this is Taz.

Taz is very sad because he has failed miserable at ridding Winnipeg of the evil mosquitoes the 'natural' way and now has to whip out the big malathion chemical guns because people are raging because they can't go outdoors.

actually, he's more sad because now, since he has failed miserably at his job, he won't get to make out with me after all!

poor Taz, maybe i should have made my announcement public and he would have tried harder.

wedding hiatus...

2005-07-09T07:56:00.000-05:00

i will be taking a brief blogging break for 3 days of wedding madness. i have to give the toast to the bride and i'm dreading it, not because i'm not funny but because the guy giving the toast to the groom is cute and planning to speak for 10 minutes and has an adorable english accent to distract people if he says something dumb....me, not so much! anywho, keep your fingers crossed for me and i'll see y'all on tuesday!

go-go

five question interview....sorry lucky pink....i am on fucking slow gear.

2005-07-07T22:30:00.000-05:00

i asked lucky pink to interview me. it took forever for me to do but i finally did!

here are the instructions:
1. If you want to participate, leave a comment below saying "interview me."
2. I will respond by asking you five questions -- each person's will be different.
3. You will update your blog with the answers to the questions.
4. You will include this explanation and an offer to interview others in the same post.
5. When others comment asking to be interviewed, you will ask them five questions.

i will try to be prompt in selecting questions!

here's what amber asked me:

1. Your dream date. From start to finish, what is it?

i get picked up by the boy on a moped and we go for dinner & drinks. dinner takes 3 or 4 hours because the conversation is going so well. we eventually make it out of the bar/restaurant and head off to the top of a parkade to people watch and hug. maybe after we head to a beach to take a walk, a swim, and lie on the beach and watch the stars and kiss. at the end of the night some good 'ladies first' action in a king-sized bed would be good. and then at least 8 hours of sleep. and blueberry pancakes for breakfast.

2. You've been elected mayor of your city. What are you going to do?

1) get some fucking vision and ensure that young people stop leaving Winnipeg for places like Vancouver and Calgary.

2) build an overpass at Kenaston, it just needs to happen.

3) end the concrete/road construction conspiracy...i'm convinced that there is a type of concrete that can deal with extreme heat and cold and not fall apart every season.

4) prosecute sicko johns who frequent child prostitutes. bastards should burn in hell.

3. You've just discovered that you have to ability to make yourself invisible whenever you feel like it. What do you do with your new power?

spy spy spy like there's no tomorrow! i think i'd mostly spy on ex-boyfriends and see what they're doing. and on guys i think are cute. and on people who get my resume and don't call me for interviews. and if i had a boyfriend i'd sneak up him and do things like scare him or appear in his bed or something.

4. You've been hired on as a princess at Disneyland. Which princess are you and why?

I am Sleeping Beauty because she has the best dress and gets to make out with a prince. and she has those cute fairy godmothers. although, I'd actually rather be Melificent because she's waaaay cooler....but she's a queen, not a princess.

5. You've just signed a contract to turn your life into a reality show. What's the name of your show and what will it focus on?

my show will be called "am i not the cutest unemployed librarian you have ever seen?" and will focus on my adventures at school with my student boyfriends. and when i am in not in school it will focus on my job search and my bellydancing. there will be lots of closeups of me rolling my eyes.

better late than never, right?....right?

2005-07-07T16:39:00.000-05:00

yeah, i fucking suck. i'm a slack ass and can't keep up on blogging lately. that's what happens when you temporarily work full time and have to prep for a public bellydancing show that you seriously regret inviting all your friends to and you are in a wedding party on saturday and have to deal with a psychotic seamstress and write the toast to the bride and figure out how to do your hair so it won't look like shit in the 34 degree heat on saturday. that's my excuse. so here's my picture. i'll shut up now.

just not enough hours in the day

2005-07-04T15:36:00.000-05:00

i am very very behind on my blog reading, it's terrible. it's like there's just not enough time in the day. what the hell am i going to do when i actually get a job?

because i am lame, here are some highlights of the last few days:

the last day of school was on thursday. it made me cry that i won't see my boys anymore. i had to run to the bathroom and sob because i didn't want anyone to see me like that. those little shits have no fucking clue that they helped me make it through some very rough times.

there was a pole at the bar i was at saturday night. i thought of jen.

turns out "the boy" did email me after the drunk arm-wrestling fiasco. i just never got it.

what's it with guys liking girls who look like 1976? so not a good look...

wimpy handshakes really annoy me.

ashton's friends still won't talk to him. ahhh, such great revenge and i didn't have to do a darn thing.

men are fucking base individuals. sometimes it's very sad.

hnt. geez, it comes so fast....

2005-06-30T02:34:00.000-05:00

my hello kitty watch, hands, sesame street lunchbox, and knees...